A Narcissist is always many steps ahead of the game with their manipulation, triangulation, lies and betraying people – unfortunately nobody knows that they are playing a ‘game’ with a Narcissist. They are out there EVERYWHERE and perpetually deceiving many people in many ways!
From my Book – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist! @http://www.amazon.com
Most everyone only sees the Narcissist as what he/she APPEARS to be on the outside or the mask they wear and the façade they create for us. Few really know what they truly are, and those few that DO get to know them and dare to ever oppose them WILL be demeaned, debased and destroyed – or better yet annihilated – BUT do they really know what hit them as in being attacked/abused by a Narcissist?
It is not within our best interest to challenge them because the mask that Narcissist wears has been perfected and will be praised by many of their supporters or followers as well as the fact that Narcissists are dirty fighters when you oppose them. REMEMBER these many adorers are also another source of supply to the Narcissist, or the minions that praise them in life and hold the Narcissist’s mask in place for them. The Narcissist works every aspect of life ESPECIALLY with their weak minions that sing the Narcissists praises and protect their fake integrity. A Narcissist KNOWS who to surround themselves with! What becomes of us if we threaten the Narcissist’s balance is that we are cast out as some sort of trouble maker, isolated, stigmatized, or even described as mentally insane. How dare us for saying that the Narcissist is anything but the perfection they so adeptly personify! A Narcissist is definitely on top of their GAME!
To coin a familiar phrase and to drive the point home, the most dangerous predators among us are ingeniously masked, veiled or disguised. Narcissists carefully surround themselves with people entirely UNLIKE themselves or their minions and flying monkeys. Basically, the people a Narcissists uses as a shield to embellish their ‘voided’ personality OR to avoid exposure. Usually these people the Narcissist ‘uses’are deeply caring, intelligent, and empathic human beings who wish to please others, who are slow to judge, who are excessively tolerant and who have an eye for digging up the good to be found in others. Narcissists know how to CHARM but exploit it to their own advantage and surround themselves with ‘special support’ or minions that protect them. It is their association with these type of people that maximizes the Narcissists chances of perpetuating or keeping their “FAUX” facade and themselves from exposure. Remember a Narcissist is really in conflict with themselves and so they will keep up this façade as if it is a matter of life and death because without it they would not be functional in OUR world.
Unfortunately, pathological Narcissists are so clever that certain people will simply never be able to penetrate their mask or disguise, no matter what or how apparent the truth is! One reason Narcissists are so successful is that they have come to believe their own lies and that is why they are so good at creating that charming and amazing façade. The Narcissist is the ‘creator’ of their world with their own vision of themselves in this world, they are the ‘ruler’ or dictator of this world and they make up all of the rules, regulations and laws. What could be more real to a Narcissist than their own delusions all packaged up neatly in a little world of their own that they alone rule? Without any rules, feelings, character, personality, heart, soul, or a mind that can rationalize empathy then it is ‘all go’ in their world!
The Narcissist’s world lacks all reality and principle which yields an inconsistency of morals so anything and everything goes in their world – NO MATTER WHAT THE COST IS TO ANYBODY. Remember the flip side of this as well – Narcissists are NOT consistent and they despise anyone that is consistent with their ethics, goodness, life, etc., because it exposes the Narcissist’s inconsistency and a constant reminder of the Narcissist’s own self-deception. Like garlic to a vampire – they will hiss at it, try to destroy it, and run off into the darkness if confronted.
I can’t emphasize enough just how much people underestimate the truth/reality of the destructive and pathological Narcissist who operates behind that facade of FAUX respectability, morality, empathy, and flawed truth. They are abusive to people, families, organizations, and life in general. The pathological Narcissist is a long term planner or plotter, like one of those brilliant chess players who can see the whole board and then plans ten or more moves ahead to WIN. It is almost impossible for anyone to uncover the complex and multi-layered schemes of a Narcissist unless you are entirely aware of the pathological depths of the level of malicious intelligence that they use to manipulate people and hide their disordered self – THEY ARE ALWAYS MANY STEPS AHEAD OF THE GAME. So to know one requires knowledge we don’t have, OR could never understand if we did possess it and even if we did unlock all of the truth we couldn’t fix them or even relate – so basically we are always left wide open to being perpetually manipulated and deceived. That is just how good they are at this game to get their supply AND get away with their abuse. We could never engage in a war with them either because they fight so dirty with lies and exaggerations that can completely destroy their victim’s integrity and life. It is like coming upon a poisonous snake, you know that once they start coiling back to strike at you that if you don’t disengage they WILL bite and their venom can and will kill you so you back away slowly so as to not aggravate them and then get as far away as possible.
We are ALL targets of this abuse because it is never singular in nature because it destroys whole families, organizations, businesses, etc., and they have the right camouflage to hide among us and to protect themselves from being exposed. They are unstable, extremely envious, and the chaos they inflict annihilates anybody that crosses their path. When we accept that and close the book to the emotions or whatever binds us to them, then we can accept the ugly truth and start to move on! You cannot engage in their battles because even if you try the lateral damage they will cause with their relentless attacks on your integrity and life will take up so much of your time and energy in an attempt to fix what they have harmed or destroyed. So a little wisdom – you just need to walk away and write off the damage they have caused to save your sanity and more losses. They only step up their abuse when we have moved on or they have discarded us – so it is best to just discard everything about them and move onto healing and recovery because there is nothing more important than getting away and getting to that healthy place that YOU once resided again.
Lastly the awareness that others may have is a constant source of anxiety for the Narcissist and thus a huge need to constantly control their immediate world. The Narcissist is VERY aware of the limitations surrounding their facade of lies. When people talk with one another, they begin to acquire a much larger perspective of things OR the real truth and they begin to see a bigger picture of the Narcissist. The pathological Narcissist CAN’T afford to have people talking amongst themselves and sharing stories. So he/she will go to great lengths and carefully produce very devious and underhanded schemes to keep people divided. The Narcissist will create division among friends or colleagues by planting lies about one person to another, and then more lies about another and so on and so forth. This can be a successful strategy because no one expects a highly intelligent adult to be carrying on like a scheming child or an emotionally disturbed adolescent. And since most of us want to trust as well as avoid confrontation, it is much easier to believe that charming liar and move on. This is the Narcissist’s damage control to protect their abusive agenda.
Again WE MUST understand that this abuse is intentional and as much as the person (abuser) was such a personal part of us, it was purely the act of an emotionally and psychologically UNBALANCED and deviant human being. It seems insurmountable to try to erase what was reality to us as nothing more than a Narcissist sourcing us out to provide themselves with what they only needed to survive. Why do they go through such lengths to do this and why also destroy good people? Well I would say because it works for them, it gives them power to control us and maintain their constant supply from us because they need us AND most importantly they get away with it as most of us have experienced! What other reason would motivate a person to act in this manner toward a person that is unconditional and loving? Yes, it is how they are wired, no empathy, no emotions, and they CAN’T love. But why do they destroy and damage people when it is bad enough to extort people of their valuable lives and always have a knife to their back ready to destroy them at any given moment? WELL because they have to protect themselves from exposure – pure and simple. They are thieves, thugs and psycho bullies as well as destructive and dangerous so never stay a moment longer with them once you know the truth. Their truth is hidden behind so many lies, so if they can lie so easily to themselves to protect their damaged self they will most assuredly lie to us and about us to keep their dirty secrets! YOU deserve so much more like your freedom and happiness! NO/MINIMAL CONTACT! Greg