There is no “one” real person inside of a Narcissist that is fully functioning or normal, instead there are many made up facsimiles of people they use to cover up their dark reality to gain access into the lives of normal and healthy people. SO, it follows that there is no proper internal mechanism that exists or functions as it relates to a Narcissist having a normal and functioning ‘personality’ that can relate in a healthy manner with the outside world and the people in it.
From my Book – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist! @http://www.amazon.com
A Narcissist clearly crosses the boundaries of defying another person’s human rights and dignity along every line of life, so much so it is clearly classified as emotional and psychological abuse. They tear down a person’s psychological well-being in such an insidious manner that the target becomes completely vulnerable, unprotected and attacked like a predator chasing and tiring out its prey to immobilize it.
A Narcissist is completely pathological in every single aspect of how they relate to the people and world around them. Unfortunately, their world is completely delusional, one in which they do not allow individuality because they are absolute rulers (dictators) in that world. The unfortunate fact is that a Narcissist needs people in their lives to SURVIVE but they just don’t ‘like’ or ‘relate’ to people so it is a hideous, demeaning, debasing, ANGRY, and abusive coexistence that we get TRAPPED into. They do not have ‘relationships’ by any normal means, they live among us like fictional zombies that are after our ‘brains,’ BUT the NARCISSIST is after us for supply. They do this by disabling our ability to function normally because they attack our thought processes with extreme measures like gas-lighting, brainwashing, manipulation, and betrayal – ALL abusive measures.
This is especially apparent with their ‘people skills’ or lack thereof. They have no viable or normal functioning interpersonal skills with anyone and it is all about their needs and manipulating everyone to get what they want. So with that function being completely null/void and DEAD, it follows that they have absolutely NO ability to relate to another human being in any normal manner, especially as it concerns empathy, compassion or LOVE. SO, how do they seem so real? They would be more like a parrot that can repeat a phrase that it has learned by hearing it over and over again to get their treat. A Narcissist repeats actions, words, and imitates our thoughts just like that parrot that wants a cracker for its reward – but generally the parrot will not malign the ‘hands that feed it’ and enjoys the company of other people – not so with the Narcissist because they mean business and are with us to GET WHAT THEY WANT OR ELSE. The Narcissist DECIDES what a person’s function will be as one of their targets or victims AND as it DIRECTLY relates to whatever the Narcissists needs from this new target are and what the Narcissist will morph into to achieve this conquest. This is what amounts to the extreme manipulation starting out with their love bombing and then the brain-washing, gas-lighting, lying, cheating, extorting, harm, destruction, etc., etc., OR ‘in a nutshell’ the psychological abuse they inflict onto their target/victim.
There is no “one” real person inside of them that is fully functioning or normal, instead there are many made up facsimiles of people they use to cover up their dark reality to gain access into the lives of normal and healthy people. SO, it follows that there is no proper internal mechanism that exists or functions as it relates to a Narcissist having a normal and functioning ‘personality’ that can relate in a healthy manner with the outside world and the people in it. The reality that exists (and I am very loosely using that word reality) is a thin veneer or skin that is like a mask and costume they CREATE and wear that corresponds with their needs at any given moment TO TRAP ANOTHER TARGET/VICTIM. It is very interchangeable at any given moment as well, so it fools the rest of the world and protects the Narcissist from being EXPOSED as the abusive person that they are. Remember that Narcissist has many disguises they have used on people so they ALSO have their supporters that believe the Narcissist is AMAZING!
They are like a chameleon that is able to change the color of its skin to match its environment and they are amazingly adept at this. The Narcissist disengages, detaches, or un-knows their dark inner self and easily identifies with something external and creates (or wears) this projected ‘good’ image instead – and there you have it a different person for every different ‘need’. That need is usually to trick their targets and use them as ‘Narcissistic Supply’ and just a major component of their survival (again they need us for SUPPLY.) Basically, their functioning image is the biggest lie that this extortionist uses in their arsenal of deceit or ABUSE. Or as my friend said ‘compartmentalization’ – they compartmentalize us to fit the many different and exacting needs they have for each of us.
Now that is pretty messed up! The relationship with yourself, or the one that requires a conscience, morals, empathy, a soul, etc., is an important relationship to be lacking COMPLETELY, and pretty much a requirement or prerequisite to being a functioning human being and living life NORMALLY with others. If you don’t relate to your own self or your life in a healthy matter, how can you relate to anyone else in a ‘healthy manner?’ JUST MY POINT – a Narcissist lacks the mechanisms needed to be a ‘fully functioning human being’ so they invent what they need as they go along in life and we play along or join in unknowingly with their toxic and destructive game. It is how they survive because they NEED US to be able to survive and live amongst us daily because for now we are still the majority here on this planet. BASICALLY, we are here to supply them OR fulfill their every need, be it financially as in a career, sexually to fulfill their physical needs, familial so ‘they’ have a proper ‘face’ to appear ‘normal, moral and ethical’, friends to help them shore up their façade and believe their ‘lies’, or whatever they can harvest and use from people to fill in the huge VOID that they are. None of us serve anything more OR are more than a “bit part” in the Narcissist deranged and disordered life. We function to serve a specified need the Narcissist has at a specific time, AND they may have multiple relationships going on at once to secure all the supply they can get – but we are none the wiser!
A Narcissist lacks all social graces in the most extreme ways because underneath their ‘seductive’ façade, they don’t honor any human rights, respect individuality, or obey any written law. They live life in an extremely pathological and abusive manner. They imitate a functioning human being and take everything they want and need through some extreme and manipulative methods. They also get bored easily with their conquests SINCE they lack the mechanisms to form healthy bonds (and decisions), so they STRAY very easily to keep the excitement and adulation flowing in their world – lets just say that their world is completely ‘out of control!’ Now it is bad enough they are life’s extortionists but they also seem to loathe all healthy loving people that would dare express their individuality, question them or demand accountability, so they lose their patience with us quickly and psychologically attack our minds in an effort to destroy our life as we know it so THEY CAN CONTROL US. Like any other bully you have to disengage from the Narcissist because if you don’t they will only attack you in unimaginable ways to destroy your integrity as well as your life – they have to win the battle they have with life, people and essentially the WHOLE world! You will ‘seemingly’ end up being the crazy one and the abuser because they will make you out to be everything bad/wrong just like a psycho bully would react to remove any blame from themselves and pass it onto you, basically their back-stabbing and smear campaign. Not a very pretty package at all. Just always remember, you haven’t done ANYTHING wrong to deserve this because they don’t function like other human beings. They don’t even have a clue what liking, caring or LOVING is so they live without it by pretending they know it so well, but you CAN’T pretend to love especially when you have no morals and it catches up with the Narcissist very quickly. No/minimal contact to start out on your journey to recovery! Greg