Chaos, crazy making, and drama – a Narcissist’s recipe to always bake up drama to divide and conquer the world!

 

From my Book – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist! @http://www.amazon.com

 

Narcissists love to create, seed and cultivate their toxic and chaotic drama for the basic reason of CONTROL! Yes, they are into drama and very dramatic because they live in and with so much internal chaos – even as controlled as they may seem to be. Narcissists also create drama as another distorted tool to get supply or draw all of the attention to THEM or also away from them when they need to avoid exposure. It is what they do with this drama because it never achieves anything good and it is used to basically divide and conquer people and keep them confused or to control AND to isolate them. You can bet the Narcissist is always the go to person or at the center of all chaos and drama but comes out smelling like a rose. The Narcissist I knew was very adept at this and cunning in the manner that they did it (triangulation), but be assured someone or something was being completely destroyed in the process! My Narcissist would always say that they were like a cat that would land on its feet and also come up smelling like that rose. I always thought that this was very odd to hear because it described a person that knew they did some awful things to people and got away with it and felt proud of the fact that they came out of it unscathed.  

 

With a Narcissist life is a perpetual crisis because they are wounded so easily and life’s eternal victims. Everything is a perceived threat real or not – BUT they expect you to fix it NOW and on their delusional terms only. We all experience rough times but a Narcissist has a natural inclination to make the good and bad into an ugly and chaotic situation or everything is a crisis situation where they go above and beyond what would be deemed as a normal reaction. Remember this too, when they want to really play their games they will even accuse you of things that have no basis of reality to create an argument and a crisis that YOU have to deal with – sort of their chaotic diversion tactic to throw you off base. Their energy will expand in YOUR mind because you basically respond to whatever the crisis situation is and they will pull you into it to deplete your energy by making you respond to the situation or get you hyper involved and stuck in your head trying to use your normal resources to get to some cohesive conclusion where there is NONE.  

 

This is how they condition you into becoming dependent on them and usually it is through their devious manipulation, threats and negative responses from the crisis they create –  and they JUST MIGHT LEAVE YOU (or whatever threat) if you don’t change your ways. So you are conditioned to always walk on those perpetual eggs shells and accept their behavior to basically keep the peace and avoid their punishment or rage or again control. They cannot really empathize so empathy is not at the basis of any part of their interactions with people. Lies, deceit, manipulation, blaming, triangulation, conquering, and dividing people are. These actions ARE the basis of their ‘crazy making’ tactic or the real mechanics to their agenda as well as a dehumanizing ploy the Narcissist uses to manage people down. It is part of their plan to bring you down and keep you down or again CONTROL. They will also project their own personal chaos and downfalls onto you to free themselves of the shame that lives in them. They really know how to work a situation to get attention, create chaos, blame, and dump some personal shame onto their target! That is the reality of their life – they are human projection machines that have no reality except to source out their externalized needs or find supply.

 

Here is a big eye opener that you must truly internalize – they need you and your energy to be successful at maintaining their façade and achieving supply. They don’t want you to leave them until they want to go, so they go to great lengths to get and keep your attention until they have used you up as well as found another source of supply to replace you. Remember supply to them can be anything that gives them attention negative or positive so long as it supports that façade! I use to ask my Narcissist if I was so horrid WHY NOT LEAVE – but my Narcissist kept coming back with that little bit of love bombing, more lies and fake promises because they hadn’t found a replacement yet (well many side ones but none that stuck).

 

Like a toddler that hasn’t reached a level of emotional maturity, they consistently go from loving and supporting you to getting angry and detesting or hating you to get their needs fulfilled through their debilitating up and down chaos and tantrums but there is absolutely no love or bond there. They have their many toys and the shiniest one is the one that they sort of love for the time being until a newer toy catches their attention. Their moods and responses are inconsistent and dealing with them feels like you are walking through a field of landmines where at any moment you may step on one and it will detonate, but those emotions that bond you to them and your empathy keeps you hanging on. Well add to this the psychological abuse that manipulates and blinds your way and distorts your reality.

 

A Narcissist WILL try to please you, but the nice things they do always have a huge cost and a motive. They play the saint or martyr that keeps score, and just when you think everything is okay, BAM they get you one more time, and then one more and one more until there are so many levels of this chaos that you are lost/isolated within their debilitating pathology. Their modus operandi is to sabotage you while they look innocent. For instance, they will commit to doing something when they really don’t want to do it and then consistently bail out at the last minute. Or they’ll conveniently forget. Perhaps they’ll run late and miss an event or a timeline. Everyone has these experiences now and again, but Narcissists do this all the time and they want to turn it around and get you to feel guilty and upset about WHAT THEY ARE PURPOSELY doing to you. They will make up excuses with the most ambiguous details or justifications when it comes to accountability and then sulk and act like a victim if you get upset meanwhile they have betrayed you in some form or fashion that you aren’t aware of. They will conveniently lose items, forget dates, miss deadlines, ruin plans, and then become sad and withdrawn because they have tried so very hard when they have done nothing but be irresponsible, tricked you and then they blame you as not understanding, etc. This is just more of their crazy making and chaos! Add to this the outright lies, the cruel behavior, the betrayal, the raging temper and there you have it – a Narcissist that means to create chaos and crazy making to manage you down to nothingness.

 

It is important or better yet imperative to know what you are dealing with as far as this chaotic crazy maker is concerned because they are destructive psycho bullies! However, with this type of abuse AND because of the charm factor, and/or love that is also introduced into the factoring there is always the tendency to be a little blind to the possibility of the truth especially if the person is a loved one or someone very close to you. We actually end up taking that person’s behavior personally and applying credence to what they are saying, or possibly even believing that the crazy maker (abuser) in our life could change or we could help them. We also expect the crazy maker to play by the same rules with communication or apply normal etiquette as everyone else, but they don’t. Our world is a normal one, their world lacks the normality and integrity that we know and understand and is purely driven by their pathology. Crazy making Narcissists don’t play by the same rules as you and I. You’ll save yourself a lot of headaches and energy if you realize this now and stop trying to make the crazy maker in your life respond to your concerns because you are talking to a brick wall that you cannot penetrate!

 

So it is important to internalize that the Narcissist delivers messages that are disguised as carefully and as proportionate as that disordered and fake mask they wear that conceals their false and negative self and their destructive agenda. They are negative messages disguised in a positive message or even a gesture. This inevitably sets you up to lose ALL THE TIME! All of this adds up to feeling a sense of worthlessness and everything you do seems to be inappropriate or wrong! There is only ONE way to end the madness and chaos – no/minimal contact! Greg

Posted on September 12, 2016, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. But don’t be scared of these of these people remember it’s they lies and stupid shit so don’t work your brain up about and remember other people problems ain’t yours so move on and set better example for your kids and yourself don’t let nobody come in your life to try and bring you down remember you looking for me right not Mr wrong they will have people starting trouble with you and when you go to defend yourself they will make it seem like your the problem but don’t get yourself all.work up about other people problems remember your not responsible for nobody problems so as long as you love yourself and know who you are who cares what other people think so but don’t be scared of them still go for your goals ain’t stalking a crime they friends I use to go see started acting funny so I stop going to see them like for example I went to a friend out she close the door in my face and said ain’t nobody told you to come here and guess what she got as a reward for treating me like crap a transfer into a better apartment a man that really loves her lol but any way as long as you love yourself you don’t worry with them crazy people who trying to mind fuck you into believing they bull shit it’s it’s really a sad story it’s so bad that they will put you with people to make they Delusions seem true Its sad that they need Counseling but they will never Amit it because they to busy blaming other peoplle for they bull shit I pray for them people every day but they need more then God I can’t believe this world they stalk me every where I go it’s sad and them will have the police harassing me but if you know you a good person with a good heart don’t worry yourself because they play with they made it seem.like I was you to be homeless they will threating you it’s sad and the you never did nothing they just made up a story to fuck with you and make it seem like you crazy it’s sad I use to work for thr parks department they put me in the mayor park to work why I have no idea it’s a thoundsand parks I could’ve work in but they put me in the mayor park and now all of a sudden I can’t find a job or get a job when I go to school it’s only two people on my class when I went to school for my ged I had to take classes they had me in the wrong class lying just trying to discourage you from your dreams they had people who look like they was on drugs following me bumping me running me over with baby strollers and I have no idea what the he’ll is going on because peopple yelling out of car windows they cops giving me nasty looks o just don’t know what’s this is about and I don’t think I ever will and frankly I don’t give a fuck I’m not here for them I’m here to Accomplice my dreams to be a lawyer and Domestic violence counselor so don’t let them discourage you from chasing your dreams you chase your dream job finish school and focus on you and your family goals

    Like

  2. It’s really nasty with these people they say they love you but do they no don’t believe them they are out to hurt you in any way possible my kids ain’t graduate school they try and make you and your kids look like
    are dumb the teacher in my kids school lie on my kids fail my kids when your kids are good smart kids I have got into fights where I. Could’ve got Seriously hurt threw this none since and lies everybody I date or come into contact with just about drama and lies what man would want his girl outside fighting all the time I had to leave for the sake of my kids and my well being my friends family my only brother everybody turn on me because of a lie that was told so.i notice people would start trouble with me or my kids I would try and talk to the parent and they would act like it never happen so I now I don’t start trouble with nobody so why is all this trouble coming to me they either want you dead or in jail and by any means they will try it’s sad but true I’m a victim of a crime all tthey gone do is try and make it seem like you crazy false arrest that’s serious gas lighting that sad that they stalk you and have the people in you building doing it to and then lied to the police the mayor and everybody about the target just to keep.you Isolated they will have the cops and the fire department harassing intimidating you it’s sad they will stop you from going to school getting a job and blame you why you ain’t got no job but the whole time they stop you from. Your Success and Accomplishing your goals but don’t let them stop you from your dreams it’s sad that this happen to Innocent civilians and then they lie on the civilian and cause problems that’s the civilian have no Knowledge of it’s sad that this can happen and all they do is trying and make you seem like the crazy or you are the problem they set you up for fights and make it seem like you are the problem I mean where’s the Justice I guess there is none and then they get the police not to help you so if you feel like you did everything you can do and nobody help you you have every right to defend yourself if your out in public minding your Business remember they stalking you so u have every right to defend yourself if this was helpful Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for more knowledge so don’t let them brain wash you into something your not even if they put you in places you don’t belong or you meet somebody of online dating member they problems are not yours so if you find somebody you love.and all they do is cause drama and fights leave them even if he beats on you don’t let him Manipulate stalk.or harrass you leave him my own family got me jump fights so I had to let them go just let them go they don’t mean you no good anyway and by them do what they do to you they prolly got a reward or something like a good city job a high school Diploma or the women who ain’t have no man got one just off of what they did to me it’s all about you do me a favor I’ll do you a favor my narcissistic don’t do nothing but lie stalk and lie and make up bad things about you and just try and paint this bad picture of somebody your not

    Like

  3. Well it happen to me their lied on me my friends turn on me my own brother turn on me my cousin was setting me up in fights to get hurt all because of a lie my kids was fighting in school people knew them but they didn’t know the people who was starting the trouble they even tried to have the police brain wash me harassing me on me my kids my kids father got me into all kinds of fights I had to leave him they blame you for other people problems and really try to make you leave them it’s sad and I really pray for thhem to get better but that will never happen because they don’t care about you they will try to stop you from. Get to g your hair done nails done you make they try and stop you it’s sad but true even if they have to place u with people it’s sad it’s sad that they tear families apart they will lie on you they will stop you from getting a job so you can depend on the system they just try and paint this picture of somebody your not and then try and make it seem like your they crazy one it’s really sad but true

    Like

  4. The situation is when I have appointments to go to and the Narcissists in my life aka my parents say they will do something and not show up and then it makes me look bad because I can’t do what needs to be done than act all innocent like they didn’t mean to do it on purpose when you know damn well they did it on purpose.

    When they took income from you or keep you from progressing. It makes you feel like your the one incompetent of making appointments and such and keeps you from actually having a life or your own. I have been struggling for two years trying to get back on my feet and raise my son as a single parents and save money again so I can drive in the suburbs because you can’t catch a bus to go places. It sucks.

    So whenever I need to do something I can’t do to the lack of help, you feel like you are the incompetent one. When really it’s others who become passive aggressive in their behaviors that is causing you to become psychotic to an extent.

    It is so aggravating to deal with, there are plenty of times I have lost my temper because they don’t see the outcome of their actions and I feel like I am blaming myself for things I can’t control. I am losing much of my sanity.

    Like

  1. Pingback: The easiest way to tell if your mother is a narcissist

Thoughts or Feelings you'd like to share?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: