The Narcissist has one main goal and that is to drain each and every person that is involved in their lives or use people as objects that serve a purpose. Once you enter into Narcissist-Ville you sign away your right to freedom or individuality, and you better be ready to become an indentured servant to the Narcissist, as well as take your emotional beatings regularly. Your lawful rights are stripped from you and you are now under the rule of a sadistic dictator and there is no way to escape their rule unscathed or undamaged.


From my Book – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist! @


Narcissists view the world as their playground to take what they want and they never give back. They view or better yet PORTRAY themselves as omnipotent, moralistic, religious as well as many other things that they stamp onto their worldly resume or their ‘brand’ that they put out there for ALL of us – none of which have any real connection to who and what they REALLY are – abusive and destructive predators. You could really sum it up by saying that a Narcissist feels entitled to do whatever they want, take whatever they want, and act out in whatever manner they want and they just do not care in the smallest way!


A Narcissist never looks inward in a manner to see that they have a personality disorder, or that their world is built on lies and appearances – that is merely a clinical definition for us to sort of understand them. Furthermore, they never admit to being wrong, doing anything wrong, or having wronged or destroying the many lives that they do. However, the Narcissist HAS wronged others, be it cheating, lying, manipulation, hurting them emotionally or physically, BUT a Narcissist manages to project blame on and into the targets/victims and everyone around them. They also have their minions and a new supply to support them or filter their lies through, as well as hide behind to avoid exposure. If you think about this and really actualize the truth as it concerns them then you have to understand that they are destructive and dangerous and you CAN’T be a part of their world. Narcissists malign ALL people!


In fact, the Narcissist will view him/herself as superior or above the rest of humanity. Narcissists do not see themselves as the pathological and destructive person that lives their entire life like a parasite using and taking advantage of others, objectifying people and then moving on once they have emotionally drained and damaged a person. Nor does the Narcissist see how flimsy their thin veneer of lies, and false credentials are. No instead the Narcissist will project their false image and describe themselves as a hero of sorts, a savior, or even a saint as far as it concerns humanity and their role here on earth! Well this is part of their disordered and damaged self that enables the Narcissist to live in complete denial of the damage they inflict onto people’s lives. There are no written laws, rules or regulations that a Narcissist will follow. They are in COMPLETE denial of just how disordered they really are and they just lie to get out of any sticky situation to avoid accountability! They have absolutely no notion or care as it concerns right and wrong or truth and lies. They live in a pretend world and they want us to play along or else!


The Narcissist considers him/herself above the norms of goodness and in COMPLETE denial that any of their actions borderline being outright cruel, evil toward others, and even criminal. That is the double edged sword that they attack the world with. The truth is that their lives are all about double standards or what serves them. If it wasn’t for DOUBLE standards a Narcissist wouldn’t have ANY standards at all! A Narcissist will stand tall and preach about morality as if all cheaters should burn twice in hell, but as he/she is giving their lecture from the pulpit they are also surveying the room to find a little extra supply to have on the side. But the Narcissist is not a cheater in their mind – they are DESERVING because they are special and above reprise for their actions in life but you BETTER abide by their many rules and laws.


The real definition of a Narcissist is that of a creature that is so preoccupied and focused on their every desire, pleasure and need that it completely blinds the Narcissist from reality and self-blame – they are too busy looking for that next fix (supply) to fill that void that describes their life – basically they are addicted to it. The Narcissist re-writes reality to fit his/her delusions and with every taker AND it is like the Narcissist winning the lottery when they find a new target to extort and harm. They relish the chase and the rewards they yield from whatever scam they are presenting to a person or persons! Remember supply to them is many different things that are used by them to fit into this world – so they are everywhere and the damage they do is NOT only confined to relationships. They simply CHARM their way into lives and situations with that façade and then go after whatever it is they came for.


A Narcissist lives in such a self-contained world of fear and hate that they have to shore it up with every possible denial mechanism available to them to maintain the Frankenstein monster that they are. It must require an insurmountable amount of energy for them to maintain their disordered fortress that is built on so many layers of lies. A Narcissist most certainly doesn’t want others to use, manipulate, lie, and hurt him/her as he/she does to them. That is why there are so many rules (double standards) in their world that we must abide by. That really sounds like a Narcissist has a master plan and is very cognizant of their actions! It is the Narcissist’s pathological denial that leads them to focus only on their desires, pleasures and needs that also blinds them to their abusive nature, and protects them from self-blame. They just project it onto and into us and BAM it is magically gone from their conscious world and we take the blame and shame. AND to further drive the point home they even punish us and think we are weak because they get away with the horrendous malevolence toward the very people that love them! They don’t understand the compassion that normal people have and offer so freely – they take full advantage of it instead!


Their modus operandi or the tools of their trade are manipulative words, pathological lying, slander, back-stabbing, triangulation, and a cunning personality like that of a fox! You only have to watch the Narcissist as he/she grins at their own exploitive games that accompany their malicious actions. It reveals the reality that their behavior and intentions are as far removed from caring, loving or having any semblance of empathy. The Narcissist has one main goal and that is to drain each and every person that is involved in their lives or use people as objects that serve a purpose. Once you enter into Narcissist-ville you sign away your right to freedom or individuality, and you better be ready to become an indentured servant to the Narcissist, as well as take your emotional beatings regularly. Your lawful rights are stripped from you and you are now under the rule of a sadistic dictator and there is no way to escape their rule unscathed or undamaged. The Narcissist intends to control people through negativity, harm, and fear. This is how the Narcissist maintains their reign of control/terror and that is through emotional and psychological manipulation. It is an epic relationship with them because they start you out on this journey by loving you – or so they say to open the door to their abusive world!


Admitting faults, or taking responsibility for their harmful actions would take some degree of empathy of which they have NONE. It is virtually impossible for the Narcissist to put themselves in other people’s shoes and seeing him/herself as causing harm and destruction. Not only is the Narcissist incapable of this it also repulses them to believe they are anything less than perfect. Remember the Narcissist is omnipotent and as such is superior and always in charge of their delusional world EVEN if they have to rewrite history to meet their needs. They will never put themselves in a position where they would even consider anything negative or wrong about their own self-absorbed and tyrannical nature – this would be a weakness on their part. This superior concept that the Narcissist maintains is consistently mirrored in everything they do. We all end up failing to meet their needs so we will be dismissed by this grand dictator. Remember the Narcissist’s self-absorbed perspective defines humanity as existing only to serve his/her immediate needs and OBEY – anything else is dissension and you will be punished and dismissed.


Again the Narcissist creates the grand illusion of a “special bond” or “love” for those whom he/she finds most useful at any given moment. This interprets as those who enhance his/her reputation, or help him/her procure a want or need, or offer him/her money, property, status, etc. For those unlucky individuals that the Narcissists fosters a relationship with it is really to isolate and target them for the time being to drain them of whatever it is that Narcissist is after, and they hoard over (isolate) the victim until they have gotten all they can get. Everyone else who sees through the Narcissist’s mask of insanity or exposes his/her lies becomes an “enemy” in the Narcissist’s eyes, and therefore a target of his/her hatred and will be devalued and destroyed!


Their life boils down to an accumulation of targets/victims, sexual partners, and whatever property gains they manage to extort. As many spouses know Narcissists will have children with them as well, and sometimes children to other spouses or partners. It is sort of like a collection of human beings for the Narcissist or better yet objects that have no emotional depth or the chance of a worthwhile life with this Narcissist as a real parent. Malignant Narcissist are so heartless and callous that they reject their own children once they devalue and discard the target/victim spouse. BUT they will portray themselves as the BETTER spouse that is a complete care giver to these children, often taking credit for things the abused spouse has done in reality.


We must remember that at the core of the Narcissist psychopathy is a mindset governed by their grandiosity, lack of empathy for others, and a grand sense of entitlement and superiority that places them above laws and morality. The Narcissist grossly overestimates their abilities and accomplishments and underestimates the complete being or individuality of their target/victim. Simply put, the Narcissist should be able to do anything they wish, however harmful and destructive, because the Narcissist is better than others. In the Narcissist’s mind, by making us a part of their wonderful life by mere association with them, he/she passes on to us this grandiosity as if they are royalty and that is our reward. It is ridiculous and repulsive that they can believe this nonsense and more akin to pompousness and arrogance. Any association with them is dangerous and traumatizing and we MUST understand this and never try to fix them, heal them, or try to get into their heads or ever return to Narcissist-Ville. No/minimal contact always! Greg

Posted on September 9, 2016, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. My narcissistic mother stalks me, watches my Windows, passes comment on curtains never drawn, seeks help from a servant to facilitate harassment of me, unwanted visits to my home, etc.


  2. I’ve seen every aspect of a Narcissist, my 36 y/o son is one. And i only just realized this a couple of years ago. After he kicked me out of our house and created homelessness for me I finally figured out that all he did was use me up chew me up and spit me out. Now four years later I realize it wasn’t anything I did to make him behave that way towards me except that I ripped off his mask and he didn’t like it so I had to go, heaven forbid any one else figure out what he was all about. He ruined my life, used me up and threw me out with the rest of the trash . Sad part is he took his sons grandparent away with no explanation . They’re sick individuals with no empathy , they don’t care about anyone period .


  3. These insights have been a lifeline for me! A million thank you’s is not enough! Having just two weeks ago been ‘freed’ because the police charged him ( of course I wouldn’t) and removed him from our home, I am on the path of healing and understanding. Your work is allowing me to understand and see ( you can have a picture of him for every topic as he is exactly as you describe!) what has happened to me. Now comes the hard part for me, the reason I was such an easy target as I had just experienced the ultimate betrayal from my own daughter. As it turns out I have been suffering from PTSD. My own daughter, without going in to detail is the Queen of the Narcissists! She blindsighted me and upon dropping off my grandson at school( kindergarten) and returning to her place where I was living because she had so many ‘medical conditions’ ( kidney stones, panic attacks, anxiety, etc) she couldn’t look after her son, she had Police remove me from her home! I was so stunned when I turned and saw an officer say I had to leave that I just walked out the door! Needless to say, I was not in a good place when I met a guy who saw me weak and broken and moved in quickly and took over where she left off. Regardless of the consequences that I suffered my biggest heartache has been that I left behind an innocent, beautiful boy who is terrified of his mother, doesn’t think she loves him and I am powerless to protect him. So as I heal from and come to understand how I arrived at this place I am in, my biggest question is How do I help my grandson? I have no contact with them, she moved 4 hours away. Because I had to give up my job to support them with taking care of them, her running to doctors, hospital etc and my little guy with school and being there for him when she wasn’t, my financial supply ended and so my usefulness was in jeaprody. She found a new supply! I get all this NOW! You stated that a Narcissist parent is not a good parent, I agree, but he is her meal ticket- welfare, government housing, free, endless supply of prescriptions, etc. So much entitlement but only with him as her ticket. As a grandparent, I have no custodial rights nor visitation, she holds the power. My anxiety, trauma and nightmares revolve around my angst as to how to help him, how I have let him down, how he is coping without a support system, how he will not be damaged by her and survive her. My heart wants to believe that she can get help to be healthy ( she suffered from bad experiences with her father at a very young age whom I had left when she was young) she had psychotherapy at the time but I don’t believe it helped her. I have seen her heart and I want to believe that there is recovery for her. I don’t understand how Narcissism is so profoundly consistent in both my daughter( who is very bright) and the monster ( who is not very bright) that I have been with for the last year, how do they know how to do what they do? How can a disorder be so similar in different people- where does the ‘knowledge’ to be this come from? That boggles my mind! I went to the Doctor’s yesterday and am waiting to be referred for counselling. In the mean time I am processing to heal myself and trying to understand this mess. Thankfully the monster has been ordered to stay away from me and Victum Services have been amazing but I am still fearful. Your daily emails are a godsend. Thank you for this forum. Until a short time ago I was reeling in chaos, now I am more focused, an emotional mess, better educated in this crazy disorder and starting to open up to people I have lost touch with and slowly letting the shame go. I even asked the doctor if I was crazy and the common denominator in my situation- so much self- doubt! Yet so much release to realize that I am not crazy or stupid, just really hurting! Ok now I’m venting. If anyone can help me with better insight I would be most grateful. Thank you again.


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