The Narcissist has to be ‘that’ which measures (and judges) and NEVER that WHICH IS MEASURED and NEVER judged. Literally they “coin” the phrase “give them an inch and they will take a yard.”
From my Book – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist! @ https://www.amazon.com
A Narcissist is very calculating and refuses ANY connection or abiding by the basic requirements of life or the natural moral laws as they apply to people and human rights. A Narcissist feels omnipotent and above everything so abiding by ANY rules or laws implies that there is something larger or better than what they are and they will never comply because it would define them as being weak to allow anyone or anything to feel significant enough to be their equal or better. It is almost like the Narcissist completely relates everything in life to a measurement, but this measurement begins and ends with them and they define all aspects of it. As the saying goes, the sun rises and sets on a Narcissist because they feel they are above life. The world is THEIRS to use and extort and this is the truth you come to understand AFTER you have been used and abused by one!
The truth is a Narcissist could easily be defined as being thief. Trust me they are much more than JUST a thief but it encapsulates the truth behind their actions and agenda. They are in this to extort things from people just like a con artist does. They portray or pretend to be something they are not even remotely like, and then cash in on their manipulative agenda to get something or TAKE what they came for and abuse you as well. My point is that a thief will break into your home and steal everything they can and they are off and running and you are left with the loss and devastation of their invasion. A Narcissist would go a step further and burn your house down while you were still in it to make sure there is absolutely NO evidence that would link them to it. Then they would say that THEY called the fire department and that they even saved your life when it was not even remotely near the truth. Everything with a Narcissists is a conscious act BUT based on lies to get the most they can out of any given situation!
I often use this to describe them: The Narcissist creates the terms of how THEY measure life, so if they were a “tape measure or a ruler”, they would determine the dynamics of each and every measurement OR define every inch of every foot – and you can believe that it would not be consistent as it is SUPPOSE to be. The Narcissist has to be ‘that’ which measures (and judges) and NEVER that WHICH IS MEASURED and NEVER judged. Literally they “coin” the phrase “give them an inch and they will take a yard.”
A Narcissist is very calculating when it comes to procuring power to achieve their agenda! Power allows them that control over others that they need to function, maneuver, and survive in our world – this is real and not a judgment – it is part of their functional reality. It also protects them from exposure and facing the truth of their own disordered and abusive lifestyle. This false mask hides AND protects the Narcissist from having to face themselves off in the mirror and see the reality of WHAT THEY ARE. They are in complete DENIAL of their true disordered self or that they are destructive and abuse life and people. They most assuredly will destroy a target that catches on to them, plus they will also have the replacement waiting in the wings to pick up the whole process where they left it off with us, stealing ‘supply’ and sucking the very life out of the new target – so they ARE aware enough of what they are. No fuss, no muss, and never emotions or love just a symbiotic relationship where the Narcissist has a new host ready and waiting – this is the real truth we must accept to move forward. Without their external supply they would be just an empty shell of nothingness.
Their entire life is built upon this premise to find “supply” and to shore up their façade and they will employ the most devious means at their disposal to get it but there is no bonding with people only satisfying their many needs. So this chameleon like Narcissist has many colors that help them adapt to every situation that exists that includes every facet of life from like, love, dislike, hate, and destruction. This is all very functional to them as well as mechanical to them and their lifestyle to GET WHAT THEY WANT. The key thing here is that they are also abusive and psychologically damaging to people because they loathe people and life and create personal battles to make us pay when we catch onto the truth or make them accountable. They cannot be exposed or that would cut off their lifeline to supply and they cannot survive without it.
Nevertheless, our first experiences with the Narcissist has allowed us to believe in a prince/princess ‘charming’ who have done great things in our lives like loving us or friending us so we hold on to keep the faith and live with this Narcissist’s amazing BUT fake integrity. It is our empathy, love and basic trust that are targeted through the initial charm. The Narcissist has bamboozled us through this wondrous and seemingly normal façade that imitates extreme goodness as well as fake virtues that we hold in good faith BUT really with little or no real accountability and that was a BIG OOPS for us. SO there within the problem LIES – the Narcissist is so very adept at circumventing the intellect and manipulating man/womankind by their craft or better yet craftiness that they have perfected all of their life, so they target us where it counts – OUR EMOTIONS, TRUST, and LOVE!
Because Narcissists have depleted or deleted their character so profoundly through choices contrary to any sane reasoning or basic DENIAL, they will even begin to see themselves as what they project, mirror, and bounce off of us. If you are not governed by any natural or moral laws, but by the law of “whatever you want to be to get whatever you want” well then you hold great personal power, but you need to CONTROL the world to achieve this superiority, so the Narcissist is fundamentally a dictator in their ‘rule’ of others.
Unfortunately, this comes at a great cost to the Narcissist and their biggest weakness is that it is never enough and they fall into their “out-of-control” lifestyle quickly for more and more adulation and supply from wherever they can get it. Betrayal, addictions, many affairs on the side, gas-lighting, horrendous lies, etc., are all part of the façade and they become so careless that when they are caught and made accountable time after time, their ‘subjects’ (targets/victims) naturally retaliate. A dictator only uses a stronger fist to subdue their ‘subjects’ and likewise a Narcissist does the same with devaluation and finally their ‘smear campaign’ of lies to destroy their victim’s integrity. A Narcissist can’t substantiate their delusional lifestyle with us to maintain a relationship because eventually the dictator Narcissist turns hateful, destructive, AND bored – then their true colors come out. It is of course our entire fault for not cultivating/nurturing all of their delusions and lies and allowing them to maintain the abusive life they created for us. There never is a real relationship with them – we are only a matter of convenience and there to serve and supply them until they are finished with US. No/minimal contact to start on your journey to recovery! Greg