Narcissists are not acting on ANY normal or real premise like love, care or sharing empathy – they create these scenarios because THEY WANT SOMETHING FROM PEOPLE!
From my Book – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist! @ https://www.amazon.com
Narcissists are shameless self-promoters AND experts at carving out the perfect (false) image for themselves so that they can fit into ANY scenario to get at what they want. They just fake it whenever possible or cheat their way through life and that includes faking love, relationships OR anything and everything to get at what they want. Many, if not all Narcissists get away with psychological terrorism and they murder their targets self-esteem, mind and soul. Be it bullying, slander, backstabbing, triangulation, or ANY of the tools in their arsenal of abuse. The things that they do should be prosecutable offenses but they do this all of their lives and get away with it. So just how do they do it all without any consequences AND why do people believe them? WELL, first off because the Narcissist KNOWS that they are creating outrageous and dehumanizing acts against people and humanity, so they also think up ways to avoid the consequences, especially because of what they fear the most or EXPOSURE! They create an impenetrable fortress with other forms of lies, manipulation and an army of minions that will sing their praises. Supply is many things even their little soldiers that protect them. THAT and they will completely destroy the integrity of any person that catches on to them.
So what goes on in the omnipotent Narcissists distorted version of life? There is no such thing as a POSITIVE value judgment, truth or reality as it concerns any other human being on this planet – people are merely living objects for a Narcissist to use abuse and discard at will. Normal people respect all life but a Narcissist doesn’t see life as worthy of THEIR respect, nor do they follow any rules, regulations, or obey any laws. So, by treating others as unworthy (and blaming them) the Narcissist is acting as if they are beneath ANY reprieve for their actions, and we are totally insignificant, very disposable and infinitely less important than the all-important Narcissist. A Narcissist has no more regard for us than a person that steps on and squashes a poor bug that is minding its own bug business on the ground. Basically and unequivocally we are nothing and the Narcissist is everything in their world and they protect their standing at all costs even if it means total destruction of an individual that threatens their accountability! You must always remember that the Narcissist has many other relationships going on as well so there is always a source of supply on the side to replace you as a friend, partner, etc. No one relationship is as real as it seems (or seemed) or has any of the significance we placed on it – especially as it concerned caring or loving them and the Narcissist caring or loving us back! People are extensions of the Narcissist or the working mechanisms that keep the ‘Narcissist machine’ running and there are always spares when any single part of it breaks down.
The Narcissist is really re-enacting or projecting the distorted and hateful images that live inside of them ONTO US because they constantly come to the surface in their world as envy. The Narcissist is the eternal victim in this world and they blame the world for everything so they can live their out-of-control and perverse lifestyle AND justify it. They pathologically compensate for whatever got them to their dark place and make everybody pay for it. They are so demeaning with their value judgments that live on the surface of that thin skin they wear to hide the dark soul inside of them. Once they have lured you in with the CHARM trap watch out because the HARM is sure to follow. Perhaps this is how the Narcissist so easily edits the real and shameful image of him/herself. They can fortify it by reflecting (projecting) it back onto the world with that contemptuous eye they have for everybody they meet. To me it doesn’t matter what got that Narcissist to where they are, because they are abusers plain and simple and destroy lives. It is not my or anyone else’s responsibility after being psychologically kicked in the head (and purposely) to the point of severe damage to use any justification that abuse was OK. We have all been bullied in life and dealt with hurt but we cognitively grew up to respect people and life and not take it out on people – the Narcissist doesn’t respect ANY life, nor do they want to change, nor do they care.
So what a Narcissist puts into motion is pathologically treating us like dirt and maligning us behind our backs to control and destroy us. They are predators that are pre-loaded with delusion, psychopathy, and abuse – they just put a mask on to hide it all. This seriously puts Narcissists in their own special class with Psychopaths or like a branch from the same Psychopath tree. The class of people who don’t wish you, me, or any other human being any sense of well-being, no matter what or how friendly, caring or loving their façade or mask is. This is the same class of predators as physical, sexual or ANY other kind of abusive predator and Narcissists are just as dangerous. Seriously we MUST internalize Narcissists really are predators and dangerous, but many people just don’t appreciate the true meaning or the reality of Narcissistic abuse basically letting it in one ear and out the other as the saying goes!
Some simple logic! A Narcissist isn’t acting on any normal human premise. All the Narcissist is doing is playing (manipulating) you for the reaction he/she wants to control and abuse you. The truth is irrelevant to a Narcissist because they don’t even know what ‘truth’ is. Truth or lies, it’s all irrelevant to the Narcissist, so whatever works for them and that is usually lies – they are ONE BIG LIE. They are with us for ONE reason only ‘objectification” and we are there to serve them as Narcissistic supply and that is it. Why do they create the huge production with the entire love bombing – to gain our trust first so they can gain access to our head, heart and life and get at that precious supply they need so badly? It is ONLY a working relationship as far as they are concerned and NOT one that has any benefits for us. We are none the wiser, PLUS they gain access to our trusting nature and then attack us by preying on our emotional vulnerabilities to drive the psychological abuse to a point that can and will disable us. But don’t forget they were so good at that CHARM and we were singing their praises at first while they were destroying our integrity behind our backs – they were that good at their game. So when you start telling the truth more than likely you will hear, “I thought you were in love with him/her the way you were talking how great he/she was”.
So to support this let’s just say it would be more correct to say that there is no such thing as truth to a Narcissist, because there is no such thing as truth when you are playing pretend with the whole world and everybody in it. They routinely fool and manipulate family, mental healthcare professionals, teachers, law enforcement, judges, social workers OR you name it and they can fool them. Really builds up a strong case that these critters are everywhere in our world! It isn’t a matter of their intelligence by any means it is a matter of practice and experience – and they have a lifetime of this experience because it is really their survival. You CAN’T always trust an institution or organization to filter out the personality disordered Narcissists either because they are just that good at getting behind a job that makes them seem to be goodness personified and they will use this guise to abuse also. The Narcissist I knew has been closely associated with these ‘social work’ organizations for a lifetime and that is very discerning to know.
So then what is the kiss of death to a predator, EXPOSURE because it’s like a repellant that warns new and potential prey to mistrust and stay away from the Narcissist! So with this in mind a Narcissist lives in constant fear of people finding out that they are a wolf behind sheep’s clothing, or that they just use people, or they want to take away or extort everything that you have that they don’t have, and they will vandalize your integrity and good image to improve their own. They also live in constant fear of ANYBODY learning the shocking truth about their past exploits, or the many they have intentionally destroyed. They also live in constant fear of people discovering what they do in their immoral and perverse world and the many ‘others’ they participate with regularly.
So to put it all in a nutshell Narcissists are expert con artists – here are some red flags to look out for. They put on a conspicuous display of goodness and kindness but in reality there is NOTHING to back it up. They damage the images of many people. They have a consistent history of past upheavals. They seem to be disliked or hated for mysterious reasons by people close to them. They exhibit unnatural and perplexing behavior or backward reactions to things. They are control freaks, trampling on other people’s privacy and personal boundaries. They are extremely self-absorbed. They have a hostile reaction to attention and credit given others. They rage very easily. They are very private and dismissive about the particulars of ANY situation especially as it concerns them personally.
So if you get to know a Narcissist’s history, you will usually see a track record of destruction followed by mysterious upheavals in their life – but the Narcissist will lie and blame every other person, and citing every possible excuse they can. Narcissists really keep their past separated from the present and the future. Never be silent about this abuse because too many people have been harmed by these creatures – even their own biological children and family. If they are forced out of the darkness, and made accountable for their actions, they would be forced to stop their abuse or run like the cowards they really are and maybe live with other Narcissists in a world so full of chaos and crazy-making that they would no longer need us to support their delusional world. That was just a bad attempt at some humor because a Narcissist could not live in a world where other Narcissists were controlling THEM and using THEM for supply because without it they couldn’t survive. No/minimal contact! Greg