The Narcissist really LOVED US – didn’t they?? No you and I were only ‘people objects’ or clinically what is called supply to the Narcissist – that is it and nothing more and there were many other people objects in the Narcissist’s world all with separate roles to serve and support them.
From my Book – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist! @http://www.amazon.com
Back to some basics! Narcissists are purely addicts that are addicted to their drug of choice called “supply” – well more aptly known as Narcissistic Supply. Basically any human being can be supply as defined by whatever the personal needs of a Narcissist may be AND if we fit those needs. We are individuals that function normally, but we are processed by a Narcissist to assimilate into their lives to serve their needs and shore up their false identity. Basically all humans are objectified – or reduced to objects by the Narcissist to serve one of their many needs. So I have created a new and adjunct term to ‘supply’ and that is we are “people or person objects.”
In the overall design of things with a Narcissist and their agenda, harm or misfortune to others does not matter when they objectify a human being to obtain their drug of choice or “supply.” It is solely based on what this person has to offer, or what can be taken from this person, or if they could use this person to advance, and this must resonate in the Narcissist’s grand scheme of things and embellish their grand facade. The Narcissist is convinced of their uniqueness (omnipotence) and basically we are there to serve their needs and make them functional in their dysfunctional world. There are no rules or written laws that the Narcissist will comply with when it comes to how they treat other people because it is all about satisfying their personal needs.
There are absolutely no human rights involved either, basically we are there for their use and they completely exploit everything they can from us mentally and physically. They feel no remorse in their acts of deviance to secure supply in the least bit. Lies, betrayal, manipulation, etc., are only tools to extract what they need before they move on to the next and the next and the next. Their actions as real as they may seem are all mechanical. They have perfected and honed these tools to work to their utmost advantage to meet their needs in EVERY situation and they are amazing at conning people.
In the Narcissists grand scheme of things there is never a REAL relationship with any one person as it concerns bonding, love, growth, goals, dreams, togetherness, and equal rights where any person ever has a separate identity OR meaning to the Narcissist – EVERYONE IS JUST AN OBJECT. Everything and everyone is just a new or another opportunity for extorting supply. Everyone is a “people object” in their world and our connection is nothing more or nothing less than being the next person that is trapped into the Narcissist’s dance.
Again, Narcissistic supply refers to the ‘people objects’ that provide a constant source of attention, approval, adoration, admiration, etc., for the Narcissist. The attention they receive from their supply source is vital for the survival of the Narcissist. Without it they would metaphorically die because their weak ego depends on it in order to regulate their unstable self-worth and self-esteem or keeping that dysfunctional creature that resides inside of them at bay. The Narcissist perceives themselves as being very independent or omnipotent and they don’t need ANYBODY or so they believe! They could not deal with the fact that they need anybody, because needing someone would imply some sort of weakness or boundary to their omnipotent power or imply that they are incomplete so they use extreme control as their main tool to maintain their delusional stability and false environment.
Furthermore, they cannot tolerate any sign of independence or autonomy from their supply or “people object”, this only serves to enrage them because they need this complete control to function within their delusional world. The Narcissistic supply is there to serve them, so they try to cement their source of supply into the role they have created for them, and there they remain under the Narcissist’s control. What that omnipotent and superior Narcissist fails to see is that THEY are co-dependent on us for their survival. That is pretty ironic when you think about how superior these creatures seem to believe they are. When anyone questions them concerning accountability or expresses doubt, the Narcissist will discredit, lie and destroy anyone to shore up their delusional and fake identity. They ALWAYS have a ‘smear campaign’ ready and available to discredit anyone that opposes their superiority.
The Narcissist is driven purely by their addiction for admiration and respect from others, it constantly fills their thoughts, actions and deeds, and the source of that supply is not particularly important – fulfilling their own VAST neediness is because they are basically out-of-control with these many needs. As with all addictions, there are good and bad sources of supply, and to the Narcissist, any source is better than none at all as my Narcissist has proven. However, given a choice, their first choice would be to pursue the finest sources possible. So if they admire someone, for whatever reason, for example, their intellect, physical appearance, their knowledge, their wealth, their position, etc., then these people would be really welcome trophies. They actually apply ownership to these characteristics as if they are now their own AND wear them or morph into these stolen qualities. But supply is supply and in time of extreme need as the old saying “any port in a storm” really applies to them. When my Narcissist knew I was wise to all the lies and delusions, they moved onto a new source of supply and vehemently denied it as well. In my presence my Narcissist even described this new supply as physically disgusting as well as a hippie that lived in a commune and backed it up with ‘How dare you imply I would date somebody like that!” As so many others have stated in their own personal experiences my Narcissist supposedly got married to this person not long after that, anything and everything is supply to a Narcissist.
Unfortunately for the target/victims of a Narcissist most if not all of this information is apparent or available to them during the big con, love bombing or when they are charming us into their world. Victims are lured into the Narcissist’s world and made to believe they are special, or “the one,” because the Narcissist creates such an elaborate stage production to secure us as a source of supply and plug us right into their agenda. What really is the biggest scam of our lives is perceived by us to be a normal relationship with them as they woo us in with their charm, but it is no relationship by any conventional means and we finally see this when it is too late or when we have been devalued, discarded or basically abused. Along with this are the many other layers of the emotional and psychological abuse or basically the poison the Narcissist has injecting into our minds and world.
They are thieves, extortionists, pathological liars, manipulators, cheaters, perverse, and they betray every aspect of normal life and love for their own personal gain. This may sound cruel but it is just the truth and a victim of this abuse understands this completely even though people want to deny victims real closure saying they are just scorned – no they are ABUSED and there is a HUGE difference. The Narcissist’s world is purely delusional and they have to shore it up with many manipulative and self-serving tools to extract what they need from us. To them it is lifestyle and they don’t think twice about how they destroy lives and families. Unfortunately we are left with the truth that we were a target of their abuse and must pick up the pieces. We were just a “people or person object” and one of many.
This is very hard for many people to understand for the simple reason that we are the direct opposite of a Narcissist. We learned about life and love and we have empathy that would prohibit us from even remotely living or conceptualizing an abhorrent and perverse lifestyle where we would purposely use another person, deplete them of their life, and then destroy them. It is not even human to act out in the manner a Narcissist does. Unfortunately they exist and they are dangerous to people and to life in general! No/minimal contact! Greg