The Narcissist has to be ‘that’ which measures (and judges) and NEVER that WHICH IS MEASURED and NEVER judged.

 

From my Book – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist! @http://www.amazon.com

 

Their entire life is built upon this premise to find “good supply” to shore up their façade and they will employ the most devious means at their disposal to get it. So this chameleon like Narcissist has many colors that help them adapt to every situation that exists that include every gambit of life from like, love, dislike, hate, and destruction. This is all very functional to them as well as mechanical to them and their lifestyle to GET WHAT THEY WANT. The key thing here is that they are abusive and psychologically damaging to people because they loathe people and life and create personal battles to make us pay for their hate.

 

Nevertheless our first experiences with the Narcissist has allowed us to believe in a prince/princess ‘charming’ who have done great things in our lives like “loving us” so we hold on to keep the faith, and live with this Narcissist’s amazing BUT fake integrity. It is our empathy, love and basic trust that are targeted. The Narcissist has bamboozled us through this wondrous and seemingly normal façade that IMITATES extreme goodness as well as fake virtues that we TRUST or hold in good faith – SO there right within that trust the problem LIES. The Narcissist is so very adept at circumventing the intellect and manipulating man/womankind by their craft or better yet craftiness that they have perfected all of their life that they instinctively know how to manipulate us AND where it counts – OUR EMOTIONS, TRUST, and LOVE!

 

Because Narcissists have depleted or deleted their character so profoundly through choices contrary to the norms of reason or basic DENIAL, they will even begin to see themselves as what they project, mirror, and bounce off of us. If you are not governed by any empathy, control mechanisms, natural or moral laws, but by the law of “whatever you want to be to get whatever you want” well then you hold great power, BUT you need to CONTROL the world to achieve this superiority, so the Narcissist is fundamentally a dictator in their world and how they rule it!

 

A Narcissist is calculating and refuses ANY connection or obedience of the basic requirements of life or the natural moral laws as they apply to life and human rights. Obedience to a Narcissist implies that there is something larger or better than what they are and they will never comply because it would define them as being weak to allow anyone to feel significant enough to be their equal or better. It is almost like the Narcissist completely relates everything in life to a measurement, but this measurement begins and ends with them. As the saying goes, the sun rises and sets on a Narcissist because they feel they are above all life.

 

Unfortunately this comes at a great cost to the Narcissist and their biggest weakness is that it is never enough and they fall into their “out-of-control” lifestyle quickly for more and more adulation and supply from wherever they can get it. Betrayal, addictions, many affairs on the side, gas-lighting, horrendous lies, etc., are all hidden by the façade but they become so careless that when they are caught and made accountable time after time, their ‘subjects’ (targets/victims) retaliate. A dictator only uses a stronger fist to subdue their ‘subjects’ and likewise a Narcissist does the same with a ‘smear campaign’ of lies to destroy their victims integrity. A Narcissist can’t substantiate their delusional lifestyle with us to maintain a relationship because eventually the dictator Narcissist turns hateful, destructive, AND bored. It is of course our entire fault for not cultivating/nurturing all of their delusions and lies and allowing them to maintain the abusive life they created for us.

 

Lastly the Narcissist can’t maintain their facade without exposing their true colors, and exposure is their greatest fear. So the Narcissist exerts their last bit of power to annihilate the very source that could expose the truth or their target/victims. Hence all those clinical terms that describe the repercussions of our relationship with them like back stabbing and the ‘smear campaign’ and BOOM we are destroyed, done and gone forever. No-one is ever the wiser so life goes on FOR THE NARCISSIST while we pay for it forever. Don’t forget that there are always THOSE subjects that the Narcissist has been grooming while they were abusing us so there you go again – BOOM – they have a brand new ‘subject’ (target/victim) ready and waiting to serve them and new soldiers to protect their lies and shore up the fortress. No/minimal contact once you realize the truth – there is no going back or changing a Narcissist – know this in your mind and heart and save your own life from more destruction and abuse! Greg

Posted on June 9, 2016, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Ive been reading this for months and find it so helpful to explain what has been happening to me these last 20 years.
    My an adult child of a narcissistic father and step mother. Once my brother and I tried to raise your fears and troubles and the reaction was extraordinary. The rage that lasted for days. We never knew what time should would return, she would physically assault me when her jealousy couldn’t be contained. If I ever ever had the temerity to try and talk about me, I would rapidly talk down and out of the conversation. This last from age 12 to 42 when I finally cracked and had a nervous breakdown and started writing to them, in howling distress and their disengenuous love was so obviously fake – not even our birthdays were celebrated. We were objects to perform.
    My dad never saw through this.
    Finally I am getting help. I’m so damaged I can’t even have an intimated conversation with him or have my feeling acknowledged. He’s admitted that he’s a phscoparh which is a start, she is a narcissist. Our childhood was utterly miserable and terrifying in equal measure. I’m still scared of her at age 45 and have so many issues, I can’t stop writing!!
    I need help, what can I do to prove it?
    Please help!
    Thank you
    Sarah (Corrigan)

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  2. It took me a long time to realize what you articulated in this post about my BPD/ NPD wife of 12 years. The part of her that I think I love is a mere illusion and facade she puts on to appear normal in the world.
    A few days ago, my boss took my wife and I out to lunch with the rest of my co-workers. Everyone began conversing about crazy exes and she was asked if she had ever slashed anyone’s tires. The look on her face was priceless because she was noticably uncomfortable with them knowing the truth about her. Everything with her is about upholding her image. The scary thought for me was that judging by her facial expression and knowing her as well as I do that was only the tip of the iceberg of her crazy.
    I have noticed over the course of us being together that she has adopted more and more of my personality. She has adopted many of my mannerism’s as well as philosophies on life and other topics. Initially I thought this was normal since we’ve been together so long but I now realize she’s been adding to her informational database. Ive noticed she uses bits and pieces of info about me to try and manipulate me by tailoring her approach.
    The danger to being with a person suffering with this disorder is that it changes you for the worse. I’ve endured the many forms of abuse so long that I have begun to normalize it in my psyche. At this point, the constant abuse has really created a problem in my approach towards dealing with my life. I struggle with depression, weight gain, addictive behaviors, maintaining a job and just coping with my everyday reality. All these issues were nonexistent prior to meeting her. I’m working hard to build myself up financially so I can leave her. This relationship is killing me-literally!!!! My wife doesn’t care or acknowledge that she has played any part of my slow decline. It’s all my fault and oddly enough she’s right to a degree. My life. My responsibility.

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  3. i love you Greg…lol thank you for soooo much insight .

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