The ‘Smear Campaign’ and those minions, flying monkeys or the Narcissist’s pawns – it is ALL part of the Narcissist’s network to function in EVERY aspect of life and a counter offensive to protect themselves from EXPOSURE of who and what they are!


From my Book – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist! @


The Narcissist’s self-regulating and controlling mechanics always involves pulling or seducing people into their lair and extracting information from them AND in turn using this information for whatever GAIN they desire or to USE against them! Be it the love bombing to harvest their main sources of supply, or people to prop up their hideous façade of saintliness. If that entails being, charming, exciting, seducing, deceptive, controlling, or nasty, so be it – just technique! My point is that their manipulation is not only confined to a single person as in a relationship, but instead it is a complex AND complete network that includes their primary and secondary supply sources as well as their supportive adoring friends, family members, co-workers, etc., all of which are basically seduced into their roles! The Narcissist NEEDS this network to survive in EVERY facet of life as well as enable them to escape exposure when they get caught in yet another abuse of a person’s life and there is a HUGE trail of destruction that follows them closely. They need a network of people to support their ‘needy needs’ and we are ALL basically some form of supply, so this is a full time job for them to control the world around them. BUT the key element is that they are always on the defensive and everybody is essentially an enemy or someone to use for support because their world is full of lies and holes as it concerns the reality they PRESENT to us! They are quite use to getting busted!


So what is the Narcissist’s thought process behind this backstabbing and smear campaign? They exploit the listeners’ emotions and sentiments. They use them to justify their suppressed hate, fears or desires. They make up a story plausible enough that listeners cannot verify the exact allegations, BUT the accusations they make are powerful and damaging, and they are meant to harm! It is a strong arm defense to silence you!


In turn people ignore their very own conscience and intuition if the rumor is sufficiently shocking. The smear campaign is such an offensive tactic that the Narcissist uses to malign, discredit, and reduce targets/victims to inferior damaged beings and stripping them of power by destroying their character. This tactic also divides and conquers by pitting people against a supposed ‘foe’ that the Narcissist singles out. Targets are stuck between a rock and a hard place, right where the Narcissist wants them to be, damned if they defend themselves and damned if they don’t.


This process is never accomplished by a single person, though. The smear campaign requires a mob of minions or flying monkeys to carry the distorted and destructive messages to finish the job that the Narcissist started. The Narcissist can just sit back and enjoy the show while the minions commit an atrocity that basically destroys the target/victim’s integrity. It is an insane attack that completely dehumanizes a good person for no earthly reason other than the Narcissist carrying out their abusive agenda so they can move on unscathed and unexposed.


The Narcissist may seem fully functioning because they are gainfully employed and may be high up in the chain of command at their place of employment or just a worker bee. BUT they are always in control of every environment they are in. Again they are extremely manipulating psycho bullies that will immediately start their sneak attacks, by complaining to a superior about other employees, triangulate, search for weaknesses in others to take advantage of, and basically create chaos to divide and conquer. They are very adept at their backstabbing by making everything seem more like a concern instead of a huge distorted lie to damage another person.


This is not confined to where they work, but it includes any organization that they are a part of, their place of worship, clubs they belong to, charity organizations, events, and even THEIR family unit or basically anyplace where their presence is apparent. They are very adept at ALL of their abusive tactics as we all personally know. They can somehow twist personal or private information they know about anybody, and subtly say just enough to make it real to their listener and seem like they are ‘in the know’ about something that damages the target/victim. Basically they use familiarity from knowing us and turn it against us. That familiarity is what brings credence to their twisted story and lies so nobody is ever the wiser to their sneaky tactics. You will NEVER see the person they are destroying present in any conversation to have an opportunity to speak out about the accusations against them. NO with a Narcissist it is always the cowardly approach to silently talk behind EVERYBODIES back, or back-stabbing! They will also triangulate by making YOU believe that somebody is doing the same to you – again part of the ‘divide and conquer’ technique they utilize.


A Narcissistic boss will gossip behind the scenes and try to rally others against the person who dared to offer a different opinion and the boss will make it seem like a concerned comradery rather than undermining somebodies integrity. Likewise a Narcissist in a love relationship will also talk behind their partner’s back to other family members with the same shrewd tactics to belittle, cause trouble and whatever other damage they can. AGAIN, they will use whatever familiarity they have through knowing you as an open door to be ‘in the know’ about personal and private situations you have shared with them in confidence!


So basically it amounts to either literally charming the pants off of somebody, pulling somebody in as supply, backstabbing, triangulation or something that is always deceptive and devious on the Narcissist’s part to build up their minions and support system. There is never a genuine relationship with them, everything must serve them somehow. Basically as they are conversing with you they are also gathering whatever information they can concerning you, something, or someone that you are talking with them about innocently. Nothing is sacred with them and you can bet that they will use that information and even distort it if it serves them in some way and throw you under the train in doing so – when nobody is looking of course! They are calculating and toxic and again we never realize this until they run off like the cowards they are and the damage they leave behind has devastated your integrity to say the least.


So back to basics! What is the one thing a Narcissist does not want other people to know? The truth about them. More specifically, Narcissists do not want the truth that they are insecure, malicious, and devious people with a toxic and abusive agenda. Beyond being embarrassed by the truth of their behaviors and thoughts, they have a deathly fear of being exposed and REJECTED for who and what they are. This is in large part because they always use lies, manipulations, and distortions to control other people and get what they want. If people were to know about their true nature, they would want nothing to do with the Narcissist. The Narcissist is very aware of this and that is why they HAVE to build up their defenses as well as lie. Remember because a Narcissist LIES to cover up their negative and abusive ways, they are cognizant or know that they have done something wrong, harmful, or destructive to the person they are targeting to avoid exposure. Let’s just say they are always prepared for the inevitable. Similarly with the bigger picture in mind their whole grand façade is just part of their defensive pretense that they MUST protect. So the best way to protect themselves is to murder a person’s integrity first – or out of sight out of mind! No/minimal contact with a Narcissist ALWAYS! Greg

Posted on May 28, 2016, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Reblogged this on Art by Rob Goldstein and commented:
    from After Narcissistic Abuse


  2. My father is 89 and just in the last 4 years I have finally put 2 and 22 together to figure out what in god’s name is wrong with him. At first I thought sociopath, and he does show a lot of those qualities. But once I started reading Narc info pages it seems he is more that. All I know is my life of turmoil from young childhood finally makes sense. It doesn’t make good sense, but it now has a name. So it only took me 55 years of my life to finally get rid of the poisonous putrid toxic swamp that he is…sadly, my only sibling, an older sister, is the same. I disowned her first and a year later him. Ever since that time I have been on a road to healing. All of these articles are snippets of my whole sad life. I wish there was a way to stop them from targeting others…in my father’s case, he has divorced 3 times, cheating on all of them…and then he had a 13 year relationship with a wonderful woman…and he then cheated on her 5 years ago..that was the reason the straw that started breaking the camels back. I caught him cheating and I was ordered not to tell his long time lady, but instead of cowing in front of him, I told him to do the right thing for once in his life and tell her himself. He never knew if I told her or not and that would have absolutely driven him insane! After waiting 3 months he finally sought his revenge on me and evicted me, and my daughter, his granddaughter, from a home we rented from him. The Narc cannot live a life not in complete control of his lies and all of the people that have the power to bring him down. We got rid of him quickly after that. No contact, and there never will be. We have no intention of going to any funeral for him either. I gave up a huge inheritance, like half a million, but gained my sanity and my daughters too.


  3. Kelli Barnes

    Greg, Your words have meant so much to me and have helped me identify what the Narcissist did to me. I am still estranged from my own father and oldest sister after 2.5 years because they were his minions and did exactly what you wrote above. I would really appreciate it if you would speak more about the Narcissist that refuse to leave, that dig their whole into the ground and are deft at their smear campaign that the target/victim has only two choices stay and be consumed or leave and face the most horrible abuse by abandoning the Narcissist. He is the father of my kids and I have learned to have minimal contact but his smear campaign is deep and wide and it something I have to face everyday many times a day because of being in the same circles and having to live close due the the children (courts do not understand this disease either).

    He is a prominent figure in a city government, serves on a committee in Washington DC. he is not going anywhere. When I decided I had to leave he plotted and conspired, then used my father to get me to react and provoke me. He followed me as I was walking backwards telling him to leave me alone with his cellphone and my dad on the phone. He pushed him backwards to get him out of my face, he told my dad I hit him, then hung up and called the police. He tried to bury me through the legal system through false information. He used the protection of domestic violence to serve out his needs and with no criminal record at 45, I still had to go through the system by spending 62 hours in general population in jail, being on probation for a year, and ME taking domestic violence classes every week for 36 weeks (or they threaten your probation). You should have read his “victim” letter to the DA. I was able to get the records sealed successfully even with him trying to get me on other charges including me getting to know the local detective and finally having that detective tell him to back off or I was going after him for harassment.

    I think there needs to be more information on these types of Narcissist and what the target/victim needs to know BEFORE they leave. I would be so grateful if I could help one person avoid what I had to go through and am still going through.


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