The SMEAR CAMPAIGN – a silent and preemptive attack to destroy you – understanding what is behind this.



From my Book – From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist!


To start off you have to first ask yourself WHY any person would smear your integrity to OTHER people, especially if you were in some sort of reciprocal relationship with them. The why is easy to understand once you are out of the abuse cycle and looking from the outside in or when you start to gain clarity over the situation. So some fundamental facts:


  1. The Narcissist needs to protect themselves from being exposed as the abuser they are.
  2. No normal person would enlist other people into a campaign to attack another person that they supposedly loved, cared for, or had any relationship with.
  3. Normal people work through things without enlisting friends, family, and coworkers – a relationship is personal between two people – not two people and the whole world. If there were actually the horrendous problems the Narcissist ALWAYS projects then the two people would come to a mutual understanding and either seek help or move on (again in a normal relationship).
  4. The Narcissist enlists their soldiers or minions to carry out their ‘smear’ agenda or dirty work to get the word out there that THEY were the victim. There are power in numbers especially against one person (the victim)!
  5. The smear campaign is more devaluation through triangulation or backstabbing – it is perfectly crafted to inflict personal damage BEHIND THE BACK of the victim. They will use everything they know about you against you – they are very familiar with your whole life so they can mix bits of truth from that into their hideous lies to SOUND like they know something real!
  6. The Narcissist has been doing this all along because they inevitably end up in a situation with every person where the Narcissist’s accountability comes into question so they start a decisive and preemptive attack because they know that the victim is becoming wise to their agenda or abuse and it is time to run!
  7. It is meant to disable the victim in a manner to make them more vulnerable. The Narcissist continues to control them with fear and isolation and leaving their destructive message long after the Narcissist has moved on – again to protect the Narcissist from exposure and to keep you stuck in this mind frame.
  8. The smear campaign is designed to make listeners shocked in such a manner that they have to stand up and take notice to the allegations and perhaps get involved. In other words they will accuse someone of sexual abuse, physical abuse, or any number of things that could potentially destroy the victim’s reputation and integrity in a horrendous manner.
  9. For the victim it is the element of the surprise with a smear campaign and the ‘straw the breaks the camel’s back.’ They walk into a situation that they have no knowledge of and unprepared for the allegations. Usually the smear campaign involves people from the victim’s immediate circle of family, friends, loved ones, coworkers, etc.
  10. We ALL have an expiration date and this is just the final cycle of the abuse the Narcissist utilizes to really silence, traumatize, and disable the victim with extreme fear of more negative retribution.


To sum it up it is just more of the same abusive pattern that the Narcissist creates to further ‘manage down’ the victim or basically destroy them. The devaluation was leading up to the smear campaign as the final step so the Narcissist could walk away unscathed with the same message to the victim that they were disordered, crazy, the abuser, liar or any number of scenarios. The smear campaign brings this to fruition because the victim is now hearing these same messages coming from the outside world and feeling totally isolated. BAM – that is where the Narcissist drives the abuse straight into the head of their victim. The victim is damned if they do, or damned if they don’t respond. But that Narcissist has driven more of their abuse into the victim and disabled them even more through enlisting other people to fight their delusional battle or divide and conquer. The negative messages that the Narcissist has been manipulating the victim with throughout the entire relationship start replaying in the victim’s head once more, the victim is worn down and vulnerable, their emotions also come into play, now they are faced with this smear campaign, and more than likely the discard as well, and they become isolated, traumatized and silenced. Psychological rape and terrorism from a very shrewd, destructive and disordered creature or a Malignant Narcissist! The normal evolution of this abuse is described in three cycles – idealize, devalue and discard. I am adding a fourth cycle which is the final blow to destroy the victim and that is traumatization through the smear campaign! This traumatization doesn’t go away with simple words that basically describe the hideous actions – it requires a strong healing to achieve clarity and time to heal first and then see it from a healthy perspective. But at least understanding the process plants the seed into a victim’s head to start moving forward. That starts with no-.minimal contact. ALWAYS remember that YOU are the healthy person here and this was situational from the abuse that was administered from a Narcissist! You ARE an amazing person and you CAN beat this! Greg


Posted on May 15, 2016, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Thank you Greg for this remarkable article. I am currently in the “no contact” mode in my recovery from a relationship with a narcissistic psychopath. It’s been a little over 3 months and I’m so thankful that I stumbled onto this website. The information has been priceless. I honestly thought I was losing my mind because the vicious attack from him, and believe it or not his supposedly ex-girlfriend, hit me like a ton of bricks and seemingly came out of no where. I am very pleased to know that support for this type of abuse is available and since reading the struggles of others who either have experienced or are still experiencing Narc abuse I’m amazed at how often it occurs. It’s one of the most difficult and painful experiences I had and I honestly didn’t know if I could hold on to my sanity during the first few months, however this and other valuable resources have helped save my sanity. It’s still difficult but at a level that I can manage. I went from being his blessing and planning a future together to being his worse nightmare in one day. I was in this relationship 3 years and although we had our differences I didn’t think he was capable of stooping so very low. In any case, I’m healing slowly but surely and again so happy for the knowledge this website offers. Everything stated in this article describes my situation perfectly. It’s a very dark and twisted person that can traumatize and torture another human being (especially one they claim to love and to be their soul-mate) in this manner and then just walk away as if they haven’t done a thing wrong. I wonder if this how it feels to dance with the devil?


  2. Yes, the smear/distortion campaign is a highly toxic brew of deceptive self promotion, revenge, sadistic pleasure, power trip, and insidious hate mongering. Until people understand how aggressors can pull this off—and look good doing it—bystanders will be easily led to side with the bullies, exacerbate the harm to the victim, and enable continued abuse. And they will continue to feel righteous as they unwittingly further a disturbed individual’s evil agenda.

    Thank you for your contribution to enlightenment about the smear campaign. Although the information you presented may be rejected as implausible by those who have never experienced narcissistic abuse, it is vital that we persist in keeping the discussion alive. Maybe, someday, they will become more receptive and better equipped to recognize destructive distortionists, protect themselves, and avoid becoming minions or enablers.


  3. Also amazing when the N’s business associates say he has had a mental break due to the treatment of them and you tell them imagine what it is like at home… after which they still side with the person who makes them money and know what is happening to the kids and still dont care or still side with him as the “victim”


  4. I am a victim of my sisters’ NPD smear campaign. Coming from a rather large family, half of them are flying monkeys, and the other half are scared silent to the point where they haven’t spoken to me in years now. I find myself wondering what goes through their heads regarding the NPD sisters abusive, manipulative smear campaign against me. I realize they are full of fear, but why do they need to be so pervasively silent? Basically, I have been cut off from the entire family. On the one hand, it really hurts, but on the other hand, I tell myself that it’s best to stay clear of people who support the Narcissists. My siblings are so aligned with the NPD sisters that no one is communicating family health issues to me. We are now all in our 50s and older, and some have had serious health problems, but I am not being told until months after the fact, if at all. I live a day’s drive from most of them. Three years ago, after a particularly nasty email smear campaign, I closed my email account, which I think was a good thing, as they were harming me through email. But I encouraged the ones who might talk to me to phone and/or write postal letters to me, and I wrote to a few of them but haven’t heard from them. They must realize that I am a victim, but I just wonder what goes through their heads about the damage that’s being done by the NPD sisters. The family is completely broken because of this.


  5. Sabine Vlaming

    Dear Gregory,

    I am being edified and encouraged by your website for which I am very grateful. When we apply the wisdom you put forward and look at our political leadership, especially on an international level, we may discern the same pattern the malignant narcissist (with sociopathic and even psychopathic tendencies) follows.

    In that realm the narcissistic abuse pattern has developed to just prior to the discard phase before narcissistic, or expressed in political terms, incrementally developed covert totalitarian rule is rolled out from the soon to be implemented chaos they have carefully designed for decades.

    In my blog I reveal these patterns for your consideration I also recommend the website entitled for study material on various topics.

    Where no/minimal contact and maintaining firm boundaries constitute the way to manage the post narcissistic relationship, the way out and upward toward healing, peace and restoration is abiding in truth and love. In my (post-) narcissistic abuse journey I have learned that loving truth is a person, Jesus Christ and that His way is the way to redemption, salvation, healing and eternal life. Please seek Him while there is still time, repent from your sins and ask Him to save your soul.

    If you choose not to seek Him and find yourself confronted in the near future with a eerily familiar pattern of covert narcissism developing into fear and lies based politics on a worldwide scale and manifesting in the power structures surrounding you, the coping and healing mechanisms learned from smaller scale abusive narcissistic relationships will bare relevance, but there will ultimately not be an escape other than laying one’s life down and trusting in the Lord for His saving capabilities.

    Once again, thank you so much for your wisdom and loving care and if you would like to participate in an article on global political narcissism I intend to write soon, please let me know.

    Sabine Vlaming


  6. Spot on. Thankyou.


  1. Pingback: DARVO: Role Reversal | Salem Witch Hunt

Thoughts or Feelings you'd like to share?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: