A Narcissist poisons your mind, your heart, your soul, AND your life!



From My Book: From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist


A Narcissist clearly crosses the boundaries of defying another person’s human rights and dignity, so much so it is clearly classified as psychological/emotional abuse and domestic violence. They tear down a person’s psychological well-being in such an insidious/sadistic manner that the target becomes completely vulnerable, unprotected and fearful. A Narcissist is completely pathological in every single aspect of how they relate to the people and the world around them. Unfortunately their world is completely delusional, one in which they do not allow individuality because they are absolute rulers (dictators) in that world. The unfortunate fact is that a Narcissist needs people in their lives to SURVIVE but they just don’t ‘like’ or ‘relate’ to people so it is a hideous, demeaning, debasing, ANGRY, and abusive coexistence that we get conned and TRAPPED into.


Victims of Narcissistic abuse often appear uncertain of themselves, constantly seeking clarification that they haven’t made a mistake or misheard something. Their confidence becomes so low that they have trouble making simple decisions, questioning and re-questioning things. This is a direct result of the emotional and psychological abuse used by the Narcissist to erode their self-esteem as well as instill confusion and anxiety into the victim to the point where they no longer trust their own memory, perception or judgment. This is skillfully guided by the Narcissist and it clouds reality with leading statements like “I never said that”, “You are crazy”, or “you are imagining things.” The Narcissist will even step up the game by reinforcing what they say by backing it up with statements from friends, co-workers, or relatives that supposedly agree and ARE very concerned about the target/victim (and probably just more lies).


Gradually, the target/victim will NOT trust their own perceptions and doubt themselves completely. This more than often also induces depression and anxiety – two separate issues that will have to be dealt with as well as the ‘other’ consequences of this hideous abuse. The target/victim is totally broken and unable to trust their own perceptions in life (the ones we take for granted as just knowing what to do in life, etc.,) so they isolate themselves because life is just too confusing and they fear it. The victim now doubts everything about themselves, their thoughts and opinions, their ideas and ideals. Ask yourself here and now if you are experiencing this, maybe it is a feeling of hopelessness, fear, confusion, or just an abnormal sense of life, one where you feel very alone and without a real objective to change or fix this or moving forward. Targets/victims will become co-dependent on the abuser for their reality and the Narcissist loves this because that is their goal – TOTAL CONTROL of your thoughts and actions and they are at the steering wheel driving this abuse full forward. Who does this but a highly disordered human being with a dark agenda? Who could take, steal away or destroy any portion of another person’s life for any reason yet alone the agenda of a highly disordered Narcissist that is basically driven by their own hate AND an extortionist as well that wants everything they can take from another human being.


No relationship ever ends in such a shroud of hate and destruction as one that ends with a Narcissist. They annihilate every aspect of the relationship, the person, their life, their family, their friends AND basically everything in a manner to completely disable you/us. Every action and word that comes from a Narcissist is a bizarre attack on your personal reality. It takes you from the goodness and normality that you have had all of your life to a dark place where you now have feelings of inadequacy and worthlessness because EVERYTHING you do is wrong and you are basically worthless. Even after separation from a Narcissist, the abuse lives on because like a poison it has entered into every cell in your body and in the case of a Narcissistic abuse the poison destroys the mind and reality of their target/victim!


OK – YOU CAN BEAT THIS! You have the ability to unlearn what the Narcissist has conditioned you into believing about yourself and purge the many negative message out of your mind. That old saying “A horse can be led to water but they can’t be made to drink it” – well lets change that a little bit and say “A horse can be led to water and taste it, drink it and swallow it – BUT it can stop drinking it, walk completely away from it and not only find a better watering hole BUT greener pastures and other fully functioning horses.” You have to do this so that you aren’t stuck in a fog of lies that will only guide your life in a negative and destructive direction. What the Narcissist has internalized in you can be EXTERNALIZED and thrown away. Move yourself away from any level of this abuse by knowing that you and only you can change and find normality and the reality of a better life. Say no to the Narcissist, say no to the messages in your head that say you are not worthy, SAY NO TO THE ABUSE. Those negative words and debasing actions are only a curse/spell that the Narcissist casts out on the world and it can’t stick if the Narcissist doesn’t have you under his/her spell. Once you have the education that enables you to see the very truth about this abusive Narcissist, you can remove yourself and break the spell. You have the power to govern your own will and what you will do with your life. You have to take all of that power AWAY from the Narcissist and give it back to yourself. Yes of course no-contact – but when you have to have minimal contact use the truth to really see the abuser that harmed you that is standing in front of you and disengage in your mind from any thought, emotions, words or actions they send your way because they are like bullets from a gun and meant to harm! This is what starts you on your road to recovery acknowledging the truth that this was situational and administered from a personality disordered person. You are not to blame, you were conned into believing this person loved you, you trusted this person, believed in them and gave them your love in return – BUT they were NEVER that person – they were a sadistic and abusive person that caused you great distress. Know this and NEVER allow yourself to accept their abuse again. Greg


Posted on April 18, 2016, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. Great article. It’s unbelievable such people exist, and unless someone has had firsthand experience, everyone thinks we are making it up.

    I had an experience with a married guy (we worked in the same company), he lied about his relationship, won my sympathy using his sob stories about his difficult childhood with a single parent.

    The day he confessed a second baby was on the way, I broke up with him. That is when trouble started. He cried and begged, telling me he will die without me. He took pills, cut himself, and threatened suicide several times. I gave in but kept my distance. He knew I was pulling away. He demanded full attention and a full relationship.

    He made me feel guilty for making him suffer, for making his family suffer. I tried to pacify him because my job was at stake. I don’t understand him till today. His wife thinks I was the one not letting him go.

    In a whirlwind of events, I ended up losing my job because the boss was my relative. He still has his position, he managed to convince everyone he is mentally sick, and now everyone thinks I’m the bad one.


  2. Nicely said. A lot of the times i am thinking of how i was before this 18 year relationship with the narc, and its wobderful to remember how easy things were, how i had it all before i met him, and absolutely nothing was missing from my life… and now after the fact, im definitely affected by this bad treatment. I have to remind myself oftentimes that i was good before him and i am good after him, no matter what he says or try to make me believe. Worst kind of people I’ve met.


  3. As I read all this info how a narcissist treats someone that loves them it breaks my heart. It so happened that my daughter married a narcissist. She was bright, articulate, educated, creative, fun loving good hearted person. She was being abused during her relationship with him unbeknownst to me. She was involved in a horrible care accident which left her numerous injuries became disabled. He tortured her belittled, abused, demeaned, devalued, try to make her feel crazy as she had a brain injury from accident. As much as she tried to get well as she never gave up, I think he badgered her so much mentally emotionally physically that she ended up dying. A person can only take so much pain. It just breaks my heart that I was not aware of this until just before she past away she sent me over 40 audio recordings of how her life was with him., That it was him not her that was nuts. I wish I could turn back time so what I know now about narcissist behavior maybe I could have helped her understand he drove her to her death. Thanks for this article


  4. Thank you. I Just want to heal, years have gone by and every fiber of my blood and soul still burn that this person treated me so inhumanely on purpose and pretended that I lied. He used me and I couldn’t see it happening for what it really was, he even convinced me I was over dramatic when I was not. I never understood how people become battered until it happened to me, it doesn’t happen overnight, it is planned and these people enjoy the damage they do, they enjoy the death, lies and manipulation. All I can say is run away from psychic vampires and understand telepathically they are deliberately destroying your life and their life when they grow bored of it, they feed off of strife and off of the ego boost they get from new prey, they are Succubus/Incubus that seduce soul and body for a cheap thrill. Just because we have technology does not mean we are free of criminals and monsters that walk the Earth, we are the same world we have always been in. God and Goddess Bless and give us courage to break the cycle of hating ourselves for being deceived.


  5. Jeffrey Summerhays

    I could write a book about being married to a narcissist for 31 years. Your description of the disorder fits my ex-wife to a T. wow thank you so much for the information!!


  6. I lived with one for too long. He found an Internet girlfriend and left last year. I have found myself again and feel better than ever. The ass wanted me back. I did not respond to any form of communication from him. I know it’s eating hom alive that I am happy and don’t need him. Only wish this had happened sooner.


  7. What happens when a person’s daughter is the narcissist? My friend has been so severely damaged I don’t know how to advise her except trying to help her find the right therapist. The daughter has her minions or flying monkeys and they have all had a part in this young woman’s life for years. They, in turn, have been turned against the mom by this narc’s lies and have been doing this now for this 26-year-old mom to be. The next step by the narc will be issuing demands, boundaries, and limitations for the grandmother to be. We both have had this conversation and my friend expects this in the future.
    She has recently discovered her gut feelings have been right for years. Now it is getting her to realize she is not to blame, she has been the victim and is a survivor of C-PTSD as am I. Her daughter could care less as everything has been and still is all about her all the time. The narc does not like me as she realizes I see right through her and I am demolishing her facade and she is realizing her mother is finally on to her. I fear for my friend’s safety.


  8. Every word of this article is spot on. I had an internal feeling something was off, and continually getting worse. Their sense of entitlement is mind blowing. The slow poisonous drip of verbal abuse makes you begin to question even the slightest simple things in life, they erode your soul. My N ramped up this behavior when he started his affair. But I was the one accused of everything he was doing. I hate the person I was becoming, I am almost two years divorced and recovery is a slow process but at least I have the answers to the feeling of never being able to feel fully connected. Be kind to yourself during this time, hard to do at first but make this a morning mantra. You deserve a better life, it’s time to go live it. God Bless.


  9. Wow, this is the best description of narcissists and narcissistic abuse I’ve ever read!


  1. Pingback: A Narcissist’s Damage: They Poison Your Mind, Your Heart, Your Soul And Your LIFE

  2. Pingback: A Narcissist poisons your mind, your heart, your soul, AND your life! | nakuruhike

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