Narcissists can be nomadic and secretive creatures like the lone wolf.
From MY Book: From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist.
Some Narcissists seem very hesitant to put down realistic roots anywhere, preferring to be as independent and mobile as possible, unless of course they are pursuing new supply with many promises of a secure future together! If need be, they will uproot and disappear into the night with little or no regard for any potential goodwill or reputation they’ve built in the community, and seemingly without taking into consideration the wants, needs, and opinions of those around them with whom they’ve formed friendships and relationships. Well of course this is because they aren’t wired to bond or form any attachment to anything.
This can be defined by their very psychopathic nature and inability to attach to people, places, and things, and even to specific time frames throughout their lives like past marriages, relationships, caring for parents, and even raising their own children, etc. There is never a real connection to people or events except to take what they need from people, or that famous descriptive word “supply”. They will pretend to have everything and even use every opportunity to brag or boast about what great relationships they have in life but that is only to impress and hide the truth. In the many years I was with my Narcissist I NEVER met one of these so called great friends that my Narcissist spoke so highly about – I was kept away from anyone that knew my Narcissist and that is because I HAD to be separated from the Narcissist’s past or else I would find out the real truth.
They are akin to the ‘lone wolf’ that marks its territory or hunting ground, and only stay until they have devoured most of the prey in the area, or they are run off by the local populace or hunters because they have been exposed as a destructive creature and a menace to the well-being of life. They can easily move on with distance (if need be) between their past and presence so they can safely hunt for new prey (supply). They need a new and clean slate because their past is always right behind them and if they don’t keep a step ahead it can and will catch up with them. Just another reason to believe that the Narcissist is aware of their abusive behavior and destruction and have to react to escape exposure. Their past CAN NEVER meet up with their present life or the truth will set them back in motion to escape being exposed. As many of us who have suffered Narcissistic abuse have discovered, Narcissists do not attach to other people, thus allowing them to devalue and discard others as soon as they are done extorting a target’s life and causing psychological injury to the target/victim and then they move on to the next. Many of us are well aware of the Narcissist’s NEW love of their life within minutes of them leaving.
Their very nature and out-of-control lifestyle also keeps them on the run because they are starved for that new and better supply, running away and putting distance between their last victim to avoid exposure. They are seeking out supply every minute of every day and acting on it and there is never a real relationship with anyone. We are a source for as long as the Narcissist is getting what he/she wants, and it is never enough. The Narcissist gets bored with the relationship as is evident with ALL of their failed relationships.
This inability to attach extends to places and things as well, and to the Narcissist’s past. Among many of their repulsive traits there are never REAL nostalgic connections to anything as it relates to their lives. They rarely if ever look back on the past and remember any especially fond periods in their lives. They do reflect on the past in the context of self-pity, feeling sorry for themselves that life isn’t as good as it used to be, or that life didn’t work out the way they wanted it to work out – but that is only to resurrect “blame and shame” to project their failures onto someone else.
Seriously a Narcissist would blame us for not breathing for them if they could. I heard this comment in a post once and it does describe the Narcissist’s lifestyle pretty accurately. The Narcissist feels that he/she is constantly running from an oncoming tidal wave. He/she lives only in the present, trying to escape this wave before it consumes them. Think about it – if you could lasso and tie the Narcissist up, then put them in a room with their past target/victims, that Narcissist would chew a limb off to escape the reality of what they are and say we chewed that limb off and then call the police to have us arrested.
Because the Narcissist does not emotionally attach to anything, the Narcissist is able to move from place to place without truly “missing” any particular location, home, group of friends, or place of business. The Narcissist is constantly on the lookout for new highs and adventures ONLY to serve themselves – this is because these highs take the place of the fulfillment this soulless creature would get from having a loving family, a stable set of friends, and a normal professional life. The Narcissist also uses these adventures to obtain more and more Narcissistic supply. Everything they place their satisfaction upon is externalized or from the external world and never from their internalized feelings, emotions or bonds with other people. Never believe that they are happy where they are at – it is just temporary like we all were!
The nomadic existence is very practical for the Narcissist. They view another location as a better place to set up their pathological Narcissistic lair or space to obtain constant supply. The Narcissist isn’t constrained by attachments to family and friends when deciding whether to make the move. It may even be because the Narcissist is simply bored, and he/she believes that yet another move will help them to finally find the satisfaction that they crave out of life. This also includes leaving people as well and again because they have lost interest or just bored OR that inability to bond beyond fulfilling their surface needs. They are only running from their past!
In my personal experience I saw my Narcissist change jobs at least 5 times in 8 years and ALWAYS running from some sort of catastrophe and blaming others. After I finally released from the abuse, this Narcissist set up a new hunting ground an hour or so away to secure new supply. A Narcissist’s past is defined by the destruction they leave behind that can include biological children, an ex-spouse, rejection from family and friends, loss of a good job, and of course accusing us of hideous transgressions as well. We are always blamed, we are always the abusers, we destroyed this Narcissist, we lied, we used this Narcissist, etc., etc. No the Narcissist created this personal demise because everything finally caught up with them and their world became too small to stay to secure enough supply so the Narcissist moves on to better hunting grounds and finds a new and unsuspecting target. They create their own demise and the fault lies right within them. They never leave with a simple goodbye, instead they demean, debase and dehumanize anyone that shared a past with them and run off like cowards to find a new target to abuse as well as cry to about how awful they have been treated. Unfortunately they cause serious damage to the people they leave behind and that in my estimation is purely sadistic and a criminal act. It repulses me to this day knowing all of the truth about the person/Narcissist I was with, and that I had ANYTHING to do with such a delusional, lying and perverted person. They are good at their game so I can finally understand that I WAS a target to a very sick, EVIL, and delusional creature and I have moved on with all of this knowledge – the truth finally became my closure to the abuse!
SO it goes like this, a Narcissist is an independent creature and a loner, who frequently moves from place to place in an effort to outrun the tidal wave that he/she perpetually fears that is about to engulf them. They use this nomadic existence as yet another tool in their arsenal to obtain supply and to try to fill the void inside of them that will never be filled EXCEPT externally. They have nobody to blame but themselves. We offered love and empathy and they returned our love with destructive abuse and extorted everything they could. ALWAYS no/minimal contact to light your world up with the truth about their abusive lifestyle. There is a good world out there, so do not let the Narcissist’s actions shadow your perceptions forever. They are that wolf in sheep’s clothing! Greg