From MY Book: From Charm to Harm and Everything else in Between with a Narcissist.
Narcissists will absorb and mimic the dynamics available to them with ALL people to exploit, pillage, and use every opportunity to take all the supply they can. They have to because this is the only working dynamic in their life because they lack a true personality, emotions, ability to bond and most important EMPATHY!
Narcissists know how to introduce themselves and engage with another person in order to find out their personal life story, interests, and ask who they are and what they stand for. They know how to manipulate you right into their lair with charm that is really a key to gaining your trust and to open your mind like a safe to find all of the valuables you have hidden away. Many people want affirmation about their beliefs and are open and become vulnerable when another person empathically affirms them or identifies with them as having a strong and common connection and so much in common. This is what opens up our minds to the Narcissist so they can crawl in there and extort what they can.
Narcissists manipulate others via fake emotions which most people read as being authentic and accurate, and respond accordingly as normal people do. The use of the right “emotion” at the right time opens up the person emotionally to the detached and cold Narcissist who is watching from behind their own fake persona, like a predator stalking prey, waiting to seize the person emotionally. The Narcissist’s emotional camouflage is strikingly convincing and fools most people they use it on.
Narcissists overcompensate for their devoid and emotionless self with that extreme charm or charisma, AND fake personality. Narcissists are seductive by nature and disarm others with seductive charm, talk, gestures, and alluring messages designed to appeal to the victim and connect with just what the Narcissist feels the victim needs at that moment. This is what snares the victim, especially when the Narcissist comes so attractively packaged with a huge bow and bright wrapping paper, unfortunately there is no present to be found under all that wrapping and huge bow – it is just a bottomless, dark and empty box.
Narcissists exploit this human need to connect or bond to their own advantage by camouflaging themselves with EMOTIONS to create a connection or an open door to our brain through our emotions and hearts. Manipulation and positive affirmation of our “personal beliefs and likes” induces a form of disorientation, so we begin to trust and then our identity or persona is compromised by the Narcissist. It sort of allows us to feel safe, having our values/emotions reinforced and mirrored back to us, and establishes a strong connection and even love. Narcissists know that if they can control an individual in this manner and at this level they have that key to deeply penetrate and manipulate an individual. The victims are hooked and will deeply connect to the Narcissist – simply it reinforces the basics that we have grown up with and that is trust, falling in love, or loving a person. Unfortunately it is not by any means normal that they accomplish this and instead it is the act of the Narcissist manipulating us through this mirroring to GET US THERE.
The unfortunate aspect with a Narcissist is that there is an agenda that follows where they extort and then start attacking our belief system through horrendous acts of betrayal, brain-washing, gas-lighting, lying, stealing, etc., to virtually debase, control, dehumanize and destroy us. This is when the Narcissist reveals their pathology and act upon their destructive nature. This is the cycle of their abuse. This is where the Narcissist’s mask slips and the loathsome creature from within rears its fangs and attempts to devour us after they have gained entry into our lives. What is the sense in all of this – none, this describes their personality disorder and their destructive nature. It is not only extorting everything they can but destroying us in the process to punish us to protect their identity. This was all just a process of being abused and there was never any connection at a human level. They were basically just like a predator stalking, wounding, and killing its prey to feed! Many wonder if they can or can’t help themselves (the Narcissist) – the evidence to support this is weak at best right now – but it doesn’t ever justify the consequences of being abused by one.
Narcissists do not only use their charm and destructive manipulation on their partners and in relationships, this is their main tool they use in every aspect of their life. They are in a constant manipulation or camouflage mode charming every person in every walk of life because their needs are varied and many. Sadly enough this includes mothers, fathers, and brothers/sisters abusing other family member’s even parents abusing their own biological children. It includes work environments where the Narcissist triangulates other employees to damage the work force as well as bosses doing the same. They may hide behind the camouflage of the local church, a charity, political movement, professional group, or corporation. They may obtain a professional degree and have a career or profession such as a doctor, lawyer, preacher, CEO, or in the psychological or behavioral sciences field. The world is their playground and we are their toys to play with and throw in a heap to accomplish their agenda and many needs.
A Narcissist only needs to join in and listen to find out what motivates and drives a person or even a group. Narcissists will then absorb and mimic the dynamics available to them to exploit, pillage, and use every opportunity to take all the supply they can, ultimately causing extreme destruction to the people that they exploit. No/minimal contact to STOP the narcissist and the abuse! Greg ❤