“Kool Aid! Kool Aid! Get Your Narc Kool Aid Here!”

“Kool Aid! Kool Aid! Get Your Kool Aid Here!”

get your kool aid here

Narcissists are ALWAYS HYPING AND SELLING the narc kool aid. Not a breath is ‘wasted’ on other things, like OTHER PEOPLE or events in life…no the narcissist is a living breathing walking PR campaign and self advertisement about just how, well…..”GREAT THEY ARE”.

We thinks thou doth protest just a bit TOO MUCH, narcissist.

Think about this from a normal person’s standpoint for a moment. Do you sell yourself everyday? Do you try to get people to like you? Agree with you? Go to bat for you? Fight your battles? Do you try to convince people that you’re nice? A christian? Loving? A good friend? Or best wife/husband around?

It’s actually exhausting just thinking about living this way. Imagine feeling that you have to be ON 24/7 just to feel “ok”. As a (low maintenance) female, Im lucky if I actually wear makeup once a month.

When our time is spent LIVING life, focusing on happiness and joy, and experiencing connection and contribution, we really don’t have time to SELL OURSELVES.

So let’s think about this. What are they SELLING ANYWAY?

They’re selling us on their IMAGE.
That image is their FALSE SELF. The unreal, imaginary, wishful mask that they dream they could be. If it were genuine, they’d just relax, live, be and let be. But because it’s hype, well they have a pressing need to HYPE it and boy do they. Go to any narcissists social media roll and there in plain sight you’ll see the diatribe of narcissism.

“Here’s me looking really gorgeous in this tight outfit”
“Here’s me in my expensive car, driving to my gala event, the biggest event of the year, who asked ME to be it’s host! Im so thrilled! I love my life!”

“Here are my gorgeous friends and me, just sipping on $500 bottles of champagne”

“Here’s me just laying around naturally (in full makeup) and false eyelashes”
It’s actually very sad to witness, because you get to see how truly empty these people are. How the things they worship are all superficial, worldly, image based symbols of “worth”. Even when they’re posting pictures of themselves at supposed “charity events” or pictures of their kids excelling at something, the message is clear, “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!”

While those of us who are skilled at detecting the attention getting needs and schemes of a personality disordered narcissist, there are many sheep just milling the earth looking for something false to worship and a narcissist looks like a shiny gamble.

Former targets just want to yell to these sheep, “Wake up! It’s a rouse! This isn’t real! This person is NOT who they’re pretending to be. They’re a wolf in sheep’s clothing. They’re a danger.” But these lost souls have been found when a narcissist sweeps them up into their minion fold and gives them a “purpose”: Kool Aid Consumer & Narcissist defender.

The kool aid drinkers don’t listen to wise men. They keep drinking their kool aid, fighting the narcs battles when called upon, and unbeknownst to them, looking foolish and obtuse to the rest of us. It angers targets to see people behave so foolishly.

The narcissist is in desperate need of the kool aid drinkers, for without them, they literally DONT EXIST. A narc needs an audience, fan club, minions, flying monkeys and kool aid drinkers to survive. Without someone telling them how good they are, how giving and loving they are, they would implode in on themselves with shame and self loathing.

That’s the REAL narcissist. Take away the kool aid, and all you have is a person with a mental disorder, who hates themselves, pretends to be somebody good, someone they’re not, who uses and abuses people, including their own families and children and who is so full of themselves and worldly matters that they are hopelessly void of anything good or Godly. The narcissist sells kool aid and is so overly insistent about something about themselves to the point where we realize the opposite is most likely true.

So lets do a comparison. The Narc KOOL AID version of the narcissist and the REAL person:

CHARMING the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick and verbally facile

REAL NARC   The charm is contrived. The slick and verbal facile ability is actually the ability to flatter others to get what they want. The charm is in this case a means to an end. An agenda. Charm like this, is NOT alluring or attractive, in fact it’s a snare to your future abuse. If you want to avoid this real narc’s scheme, don’t fall for the charm. In fact, let Charm equate to a red flag that this person is TOO SLICK for your good sense.

Good, Altruistic, Giving, Charitable, Public persona, Christian, etc.

REAL NARC  As a study of good people (those they exploit and will identity thieve) real narcs learn who to mimic and why. They know that good people are trusted, respected and get the rewards of society. Real narcs want to appear as if they’re these people so they spend a great deal of time broadcasting and showcasing (selling) their “good guy” or “saintly girl” image.

Of course, the narc is nothing like the people they pretend to be. They are hypocrites. Painting themselves in a charitable light, while stealing others identities, reputations, ideas, and peace through abuse, scheming, manipulation, power and control is NOTHING charitable good or christian. In fact, those behaviors are on the list of 7 things God Hates.  Yes, God hates narcissism.  But the narcissist gets a lot of kool aid miles out of pretending to be a good person. They wouldn’t even begin to be able to start the process of being a good person because good people have humble hearts. Those who are truly charitable don’t take pictures of themselves and design a big PR campaign around being charitable. God calls that behavior out too in the bible: Give in secret. Don’t make a big show of it.


The victim. Oh boy do these people LOVE to wear the victim label. All of us who have been truly victimized, can relate to how much we honestly DETEST using the victim label to describe ourselves. Its a reason we use the term TARGET in our community. Not narcissists however, they want to look like the Poor, sorry, victim who nobody understands, everyone picks on even though they’re doing such good work (just look at their timelines), the guy who’s just trying to get along, or the girl who has so many haters (pooooor narcissist). Who in their right minds thinks that other people complaining about how cruel they are would switch it around to being a “hater”? Narcissists that’s who. They are always the center of some triangle or drama (that they created) but can’t take any responsibility for getting themselves there but they’re the first one to take to social media and enlist their flying monkeys on a campaign to slay the messenger (whoever confronted the narcissist honestly about a negative characteristic). They have endless stories about fights in the community, with bosses, with some imaginary enemy that’s persecuting them. Oye.


The truth is, the REAL narcissist is NO VICTIM AT ALL. They’re the perpetrator dressed in victim clothing. They seek targets. They have agendas. They have impure motives. They use people. They abuse people and when they’re done, they unceremoniously discard people like trash. They slander people. They sic their flying monkeys on detractors and complainers and they sow discord wherever they go. They have a REAL reputation following them, with a target list a mile long, and all those kool aid drinkers don’t have any clue it exists.  The real narc lives in an imaginary fantasy world of “perfect” and have a clueless sheeple fan club to maintain their delusions. People that weren’t hiding anything wouldn’t need to go get their bully gang when anyone insults them. They’d stay strong in who they really are (a firm identity) and behave with character to have an honest conversation about the complaint. The real narc cannot do this! They run! The last time I saw my abuser…that’s what he was doing….RUNNING…in the court hall….away from the group of 30 people who just told the truth about him to a judge. Ill NEVER get that image of cowardliness of the running narcissist out of my mind. That’s what REAL NARCS do…they RUN from those who aren’t drinking the kool aid.


Loving. A person who appears to be sensitive, soft, vulnerable, insecure, kind, and loving.


Evil. Im serious about this. Dead serious. The many many things I’ve learned about narcissists unfortunately keep pointing me back to the word that describes them best: EVIL. Why I would call another human being this horrible word is sometimes shocking to me, as I’ve never done that. With a narcissist however, I feel that the bible (my own personal opinion) has given me clear clear guidance as to who a narcissist REALLY is.

First, the narcissist has a hardened heart. They are entirely incapable of feeling connected to another person. 1) they don’t love themselves 2) they don’t possess empathy 3) they use & exploit people as a modus operandi 4) they’re not humble and can’t submit themselves to a higher power 5) they have the characteristics of satan himself

When God kicked satan out of heaven, it was because he wanted to exalt himself (play God) and be equal to God. Whether or not you believe the bible is irrelevant, what remains true is this: a narcissist is grandiose. They believe themselves the ultimate power. If you can’t humble yourself and understand that you aren’t the best thing going in this world, you CAN’T love other people, period.

The narcissist does not possess boundaries. Others have purposes to the narcissist that in their eyes, cause them to exist FOR the narcissist. They are extensions of him. A new “friend” is not a “friend” in the conventional sense of the word to a narcissist, they are a person who is of good USE. The friend may have contacts, look good, or know high status people. The friend may be talented or be a truly good person, but to a narcissist they have a purpose for use. A person who approaches someone with an agenda cannot love them, not even for the use they serve.

The narcissist doesn’t love themselves. In fact, just the opposite, the narc despises themselves. Yes, get past the image, get past the kool aid, a narcissist DOES NOT love themselves. Why? Because they feel ashamed. They know what they do, they know their dark thoughts and deeds and just because they hide them and fool people, their TRUE nature is NOT lost on them, it’s just HIDDEN. When I look at some narcs Ive known, here’s what I see in terms of them loving another:

You think, but they love their kids right? They say it all the time. NO!
1) Their kids are extensions. Mirrors. If the kid is doing great things, the narcissist is pleased at how this makes them look being their parent. Their kids future allows the narcissist to imagine their own immortality. For the narcissist will “live on” through their kids, and their kids and so on.

2) The things that narcissists can do behind their kids backs and to their spouse is evidence that the love doesn’t exist, because how could you purposefully do damage to your children without feeling empathy due to the love you have for them? Many loving parents STOP BAD BEHAVIOR because of their kids. They’ll stop cussing, smoking, having drinks in the house, carousing, etc. Because they don’t want their kids to witness this bad behavior. NOt a narcissist. They’ll keep on sinning, believing delusionally that “it doesn’t affect the kids”. Oh yes, it does, and we’re ALL witness to it narcissist.

When you love yourself, accountability and responsibility are HUGE components. We accept our imperfections, we admit them, we apologize when we hurt others.

They lack a conscience and they lack empathy. Its more important to a narcissist to remain blameless than to admit how deeply wrong they were and how much they hurt others. Not true with a narcissist this, humility is not in their “house of cards” – and thus, they can’t be humble enough to care for others. They remain isolated in their big perfect mess of an identity while blaming and shaming others for this gap.

If you take anything away from this message, PLEASE, when being offered a glass of narcissistic kool aid, JUST SAY NO! 

Posted on September 26, 2015, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. Thanks for sharing this


  2. So I have a question for anyone reading as I am trying to gather more information about this “fascinating” disorder that is NPD. I’ve noticed the people that stick around the narcs may have a certain personality disorder themselves which could range from Avoidant, to BPD and also very frequently NPD. I am not talking about their supporters who don’t realize the true nature of the narc. I am talking about friends/family or whoever maintains a close “relationship” with those creatures for whatever hidden purpose. Like, they know that person is mentally effed up, commits horrible acts of betrayal to others, lie, cheat…etc They would even acknowledge it behind the narc’s back and recognize that he is a living hell to other people in the know and who don’t fuck with the narc… but somehow they find the strength to stick around. Like, they get no visible (at least not as far as I can tell) benefit out of that friendship, they get mistreated, humiliated everyday, they walk on eggshells around the narc. I feel like they are just intimidated/scared of the narc’s immoral ways or possible means of repercussion, so they stay around, pretend to be cool, but are obviously miserable in his presence. Yet, they continue to seek the presence of the narc. What do you call that kind of people, because to be honest, i am more scared of them than I am of a narc whom I already spotted. I get it that if you are intimately engaged/married to a narc, you may have to stick around while you are planning the exit strategy, or maybe you just can’t even get out at all. But for the others (friends mainly) who are clearly being abused repeatedly, but who do have the easy option to limit or completely cut the contact with the narc, why submit yourself to all that, why be a hypocrite to your own disservice? Are they just disordered themselves like I initially suspected (in which case they may be getting a sick satisfaction out of such relationships) or is there something else that I am not aware of?
    By no means am I judging anyone. I am genuinely seeking clarification. This blog has been extremely resourceful in my research but I feel like I still need some more light on the behavior of those enablers.
    I am so confused on this issue. Thanks for any response anyone can provide, whether it be just plain facts or personal experience.


  3. Thank you for sharing. I needed to read that and wish I had a long time ago! It has been a little over a week since his last attempt to make me “learn my place,” this time in a car punching me in the head repeatedly, giving me two black eyes and strangling me to the point I truly thought it was finally going to be the last time he touched me as I would die.

    The switch happened about one year into our relationship and I tried so hard to identify what happened and how I could fix it. I have to learn that I cannot.

    I was left absolutely penniless that night I was finally honest with the police (amazingly extremely hard to do and I instantly wanted to retract every word). On the two hour drive home I had to put aside every last drop of self and plead with a good hearted gas station employee for 2 gallons of free gas. He stripped me of my retirement savings, my accounts, my house is in foreclosure and I’ve sold most of my belongings this year to support his perpetually failing dream of business success. Tomorrow I may lose my car because contrary to his cruel accusations of me selling myself for sex, I don’t and am trying with every ounce of strength to build myself back with the morals that have never left. (This was a horribly contentious point – he got so angry that I would not “admit” I was sleeping with everyone – apparently a common accusation against targets).

    But even penniless and facing more loss, I feel stronger than I have in such a long time! Of course it’s exhausting to have nothing and have to work so hard for every tiny step, but its better than what direction my life could have taken that night.

    I will continue to move forward while fearing he will show up after convincing another to bond him out. I’m honestly not sure which scares me more– fear painful physical abuse or that I might take him back.


  4. I really appreciate all the good information that is provided to all of us.. Even though I have been away from the narcisstic for two years I so enjoy reading all the information on the readings.. I only wish I have learned about all this stuff sooner ,perhaps wasn’t ready then. Please keep the information coming as I so enjoy it and it may help someone some where .. Very grateful,Allison

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Excellent post! It really helped me today. Please keep them coming.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Dear Ana, their posing for selfies (and then talking nonstop about their selfie) if their drama wasn’t so sad, they’d be laughable. i remember a time when nobody would be caught dead taking their own picture. By the way, i’m not even 60 yet.

    Liked by 2 people

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