Dating Emotional Predators: Signs to Look Out For

Amazingly Articulated Article!

Self-Care Haven by Shahida Arabi


Dating an emotional predator, a narcissist, a sociopath or anyone else who has the potential to be an abusive or toxic influence in your life is a devastating emotional roller coaster of highs and lows. Although many abusers tend to unfold and reveal their true selves long after they’ve already reeled their victims in, there are some key signs to look out for when dating someone that can foreshadow their future behavior.

The great thing about dating is that you are not committing to a relationship, so you can use this process as a way to find out more about a potential partner, and if necessary, cut ties should he or she turn out to have abusive traits without investing further in the relationship.

Here are some signs to look out for.

1) A need for control.  Abusers want to control and manipulate their victims, so they will find…

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Posted on September 2, 2014, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. I am finding it very hard to walk away from this abusive relationship
    why is this so hard


  2. I am in turmoil. 5 weeks today HE left me. Got a flat and went and I am struggling. I was such a positive person but every woman of a certain type I worder if he’s seeing her. Who is being amazing with and how can I get him back. Not helped by the fact everyone loves him but a few of MY friends new his behavior. He fooled so many and I feel totally lost without him then he’s blocked me off his Facebook and it hurts like hell. I just feel empty and like I am mad. Please help because I am struggling …


    • I hope this helps at least a little. He doesn’t love her, he will not treat her any better that he treated you. He didnt love you either. Neither did mine love me. Although I KNOW it seems like “they” did. It really, really seems like they care and love BUT the fact is that person you saw was “fake”, that “fake” person had to manipulate you into believing so he could get what he wanted from you. Did he ever love you? Yes, but not in the way we love. They don’t even understand that love. If they did; they could NEVER do the stuff they do. My therapist explained the type of love they feel in a way I could understand it better. Do you know how you feel a bit of a panick and wanting when you realized you left your cell phone at home? How you want to go get it because you could miss something. That is how these people love. You dont really love your cellphone. You like it because of what it does for you and the convience of it but you dont love it. It took a lot of reading for me to understand this…A LOT. You should not be asking why he doesn’t love you or what is he doing with this other woman (even if it appears good – it wont be for long)? Ask “what am I longing for so bad inside of me” that would want this type of person, who could do this to me, back in my life? When I broke it down…after months of being strong…you know what I missed…when I got real honest about him. I missed falling asleep on him and laughing and talking. And most of those things were not even fun at the end…only occasionally. When I realized that is what I missed about him and longed for….I realized those are pretty easy things to replace. And not only that…I dont have to take his controlling, lying, using and manipluating ways. I can replace him easily but I first had to get honest (and I had to step away for a bit before I could get REAL honest) about what after all did I really miss. I miss the dream he told me about also but that was not really the relationship. Stay strong. He probably will comeback…but round two will be worse than round one with him. Save yourself, love yourself…dont waste time on him. Do what I did…read, read, read about this type of person. When you can’t stop thinking about him. Read this stuff. Slowly you will realize…all that eveyone writes about this disorder is true. You will never get what you want from him CAUSE he can’t give what he doesnt have. I am not worried about the loser that broke your heart. I AM WORRIED ABOUT YOU! You are worth so much more than you are giving yourself credit for. You dont want him. You want to be loved. He can’t do that for you. Not in an honest mature way. His price to be with him is to high to pay!


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