Narcissists Have Two Very Distinct Groups of People in their Lives

Image

 

NARCS HAVE 2 CAMPS:

The Ones that don’t know them (those that love them) and those that KNOW THEM (and can’t stand them).


Talking to another victim of the narcissist that abused me last evening made me realize a few things about narcissists and their 2 very opposing camps of people in their lives. 

The narcissist guards these camps like a prison guard. Making sure that the two camps have NO INTERACTION. Theyll build a wall so high that the dupe won’t see past it: the other camp is described by the narcissist as “crazy, bitter, revengeful, jealous, harmed the narcissist and still wants to harm them.” The tales they’ll spin to build that wall, is unbeknownst to the new target, a PRISON that will soon cause them to feel trapped and lifeless.

The narcissist knows with dire fear, that their gig is up if the duped person begins to believe what those in the other camp have to say and recognize it with clarity as truth.

THOSE WHO DON’T KNOW THEM (LIKE THEM)

One camp is the duped and deluded. They’re infatuated, obsessed even boot licking sycophants who can see NO WRONG the narcissist does. They make excuses for the narcissists bad behavior, to the point of acting as accomplice to toy with the emotions of a previous victim, They refuse to listen to anyone from the other camp whose tried to warn them that there is DANGER ahead.

They’re fueled by flattery, falsehoods, manipulation of their own mirrored emotions and dreams and becoming as obsessed with the narcissist as much as the narcissist is themselves. They want to scream from the rooftops how they’ve found the love of their life, their long lost best friend, or the most loving partner ever. They sing the narcs praises and fuel the common addiction and budding codependency.

They don’t use judgments about character to step back and look at the narcissists actions and don’t ask themselves the important questions:

How can this man claim to be a loving person, yet cheat repeatedly on his wife? The “love of your life” is NEVER married to someone else. Narcissist’s are.

How can this person feign sensitivity, yet every time you bring up emotions, they cannot be sensitive at all?

How can this person give the appearance that they’re a devoted father when the narcissist has a difficult time deciding whether to go to their child’s school events vs an appearance that will bolster the narc’s image?

Why are they beginning to act obsessed, question themselves and their values in this person’s presence, yet feel like this could be your soul mate?

How can a person you respect have a trail of victims, romantic, business associates, and “friends” who can tell you a whole other side to your “soul mate” if only you’d listen.

THOSE WHO KNOW THEM (AND CANT STAND THEM)

These are the people who will give you a more HONEST account of who the narcissist is, and it is based on FACT after having dealt with them. Things went horrible with us and the narcissist, and that is NOT because of some manufactured weakness or ‘issue’ they claim WE POSSESS. It’s the traits that they possess, the ones we’re trying to warn you about: their NARCISSISM.

The other camp aren’t people who make stories like this up. They are honest, good, talented and loving people who were swept up in the narc’s tornado of false charm and flattery, who’ve had a beginning , a middle and an end with a narcissist and are here to say, GET OUT, NOW! Even while it’s feeling good, it’s a ruse! This WONT END WELL.

We aren’t sour grapes. We actually CARE that other people not be hurt by the narcissist. We aren’t trying to hurt people or simply “hurt” the narcissist (even though that’s what they’ll tell the new dupes) but we honestly, genuinely can’t stand the thought of someone else getting used and abused as we did; we know we didn’t deserve it and we believe that others don’t as well.

As the other target of the narcissist and I talked, the common expression on their part, was that they cannot believe how the narcissist gets away with it time and again. They informed me of more victims that no longer drink the narc’s kool aid. A business associate that was railroaded once he was no longer worshipped as the narcs golden ticket into higher ‘ratings’ is now able to see the narc from a startling clear distance and can see that he is an abominable human.

As this conversation went on, I recollected the narc specifically telling me, that once people get to know him, they HATE him. This is true. I see prolonged hatred from his victims. I think this stems from the need for justice. All the people I’ve spoken to, are in one way or another really gifted people. Kind, open, honest communicators, with talent. Once admired, by the narcissist for these traits, then burnt to the ground in his desire to destroy those he envies.

They all are able to articulate that they witness his mental illness; but only from the distance they gain once they’ve been discarded.

There’s a certain comfort and validation that comes from speaking to someone that really KNOWS how the narcs eyes get beady, how his body language gets squirmy when he’s being called on the carpet for something. To know that Im telling a story to someone that can smell his narcissism the same way I do, somehow lets my healing seep deep into my bones. I KNOW, they KNOW.

Finally, I think we found catharsis in saying that the one thing we know for certain is that the line of witnesses that would like to be present to watch the narc finally get what’s coming to him, is a number well into the hundreds. I pictured myself raising a toast to all those fellow survivors and breathing a big sigh of relief.

Posted on May 13, 2014, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. 65 Comments.

  1. OMG you described my ex to a tee!! He is the BIGGEST ASSHOLE IN LIFE AND THE BITCH HE LEFT ME FOR THINKS HES THE GREATEST!! I’m wondering, when will he show his true colors? They’ve been together three years already!

    Like

  2. I was once on the side of adoring this person and couldn’t understand how ppl could be so callous to him when he would do anything for anybody! BUT the other side came alive and I saw first hand how, what, and where this monster appeared. I let him take my self worth, ability to stand up for myself basically he took the loving confident person I was and crushed with his hateful words, accusations, lying & cheating. All the while he accused me of these things, it was him doing the lying & cheating and make me think I was losing my mind! But an older mutual gentleman friend of ours finally told me”run and run like hell”, it’s only been a month but I see & feel my old self coming back and I do NOT wake up in fear of what each hour brings for me!! So please IF you are going thru this or experienced please please help those who cannot or will not see the light at the end of this train wreck

    Like

  3. This article is like i have written it…I left my narc hubby after leaving with him for nearly 35 years..I adored him, the love of my life but somehow detacted something not right, the need for constant appreciation, admiration..5 years into the marriage I was misearable but didn’t know why, all my opinions were always discarded, he had to win every argument (it was draining and I became physically and mentally ill with depression)… but cos of his charm I hanged in there…in private I suffered his wrath, rage, belittle, financial and all sorts of manupilation which on looking back and reading the traits of a narc my eyes opened to his behaviour of sense of entitlement, absolute control, grandiose, slights injuries, unfilled promises, intimidation etc etc etc.
    Since I left just over a year… many people have applauded me and danced at this separation wondering how I coped for so many years wth such a person and didn’t leave sooner.. thats when I realised that so many people hated his superiority complex and always right abusive attitude..even some of his family members indirectly applauded my bravery and boldness to leave and move on….I have found such solace…. enormous peace unbelievable (using no contact), found myself again and regained happiness that I never thought I could find again..at 60years I am so energic now with my self esteem restored…am on a new cloud!!
    He told his friends that I will go back as I cannot cope without him..laughable!!
    These guys are sick and need help which unfortunately they will not accept cos they live on another planet from the one of normality.
    He always reminded me of old negative stuff to hurt me and make me worthless and remembered the most ridiculous things, anyone who did wrong him wished them evil or some sort of revenge… I could right a book on our relationship with this guy!! He was absolutely UNREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Please don’t stay in this kind of abusive relationship it can KILL you..it nearly did me!

    Like

  4. This is 100 percent accurate

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow! Sums it up perfectly, from the blind strangers to the numerous ones in line, I will DEFINITELY look forward to meeting you while watching th evil squirm! Here’s to hoping it’s much sooner than later! CHEERS!

    Like

  6. I agree prision guard is the word

    Like

Thoughts or Feelings you'd like to share?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: