APOLOGIES THAT SUCK
We all know the type of apologies that narcissists give. Hollow words meant to shift blame back to us for having the feelings in the first place.
“Im sorry YOU feel that way”
“Im sorry if YOU took it to mean….”
“Im sorry. What else can I say? It’s over and done with now”
True apologies come from a deep place within a person that is marked by a sense of responsibility, remorse, contrition and future changed behavior or action.
True apologies let us be the injured party and be respected for knowing our rights and asserting them. They really let us off the hook for fixing the problem when it wasn’t ours, and allow us to reconnect, if we desire, to the person who hurt us, if the hurt was in our own thoughts – not a deal breaker. They allow us the ability to forgive and move past the injury, knowing that our partners care to the same degree about our feelings as we do.
Anything short of a TRUE, HEART FELT APOLOGY is a lip service manipulation to get someone who can’t accept responsibility back to feeling good about themselves or “perfect” and will leave us feeling, disrespected, devalued and dismissed.
We cannot single handedly keep relationships like this going. If we do, we are simply accepting abuse doled out on us by an irresponsible, unhealthy human being.
What are some of the false, hollow and horrible apologies that you’ve received from a narcissist and how did you feel when you heard them?