Narcissists Try to Fix Themselves on the Outside

Narcissists are constantly on the look out for something or someone outside of themselves to “feel better” – they think they’ll finally be “whole” or “normal” by engaging in get rich quick maneuvers, weight loss gimmicks, rigid regimes, religious fanaticism and other schemes.
the hole
They obsessively fixate on and become dependent upon someone else for healing / fixing them. Consummate suckers; whatever keeps them frantically distracted from their issues and truths, they’ll be spending time doing it. Especially if there’s a fan club on hand to give them their much needed admiration while doing it.

Why such frenetic energy?


Narcissists are so terrified of sitting still for a minute, lest all those feelings catch up with them. Shame. Abandonment. Fears. Insecurities. Envy. Jealousy. Possessiveness. Anger. Rage. Emptiness.

They never realize that all these things they’re USING to fill them up WON’T WORK. That hole of theirs, is on the INSIDE. They don’t have the ability to look inside and FIX what is fundamentally skewed about their view of the world and their position in it.

Posted on February 7, 2014, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. If we as a society stop focusing on kids who appear what we see as perfect & start showing value to all & to honesty & vulnerability, maybe we could help mitigate the development of a sociopathic personality? Let’s be a village of healthy development so the destruction of the selfish narcissist/sociopath gets reduced. Even one sociopath can hurt many; So if we could save one kid from becoming a sociopath, we could save many.


  2. Great post.

    Unfortunately I found out I was with a cerebral narcissist just a month ago, and he dumped me two and a half months ago. Now I realize what happened and I was puzzled when he broke up, ’cause he gave me no firm reason and day after the break-up he had a new girlfriend, or should I say source of narcissistic supply.

    And now I realize that he broke up because I confronted him and told him that he wasn’t attentive as he used to be, that he pays to much attention to “popular” people, instead of me and his family and friends, that he changes his mind quickly etc. And he raged at me and told me that wasn’t true at all. And because he didn’t want to discuss that matter with me, he decided to discard me after he found a new source of supply.

    He really can’t be alone for a second with himself and to thinks about his life. I remember times when he used to wait for somebody for about 5 minutes and he had to call me and talk with me. I he wasn’t working or if he wasn’t with someone he just had to be on phone. That is so sad.

    He now has that new girlfriend and I am not jealous but just sorry for her because I know what’s going to happen as soon as she confronts him or as soon as he finds a “better” source of supply. They really, really are EMPTY inside.


  3. Reblogged this on Paula's Pontifications and commented:
    Outside is material. The narcissist/sociopath only understand material. Their reputation. Their body. Being adored. But it doesn’t change anything. They never look within to change the foundation that will inevitably crumble beneath their next victim.


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