RED FLAG: He / She CHEATS

When you hear about someone’s cheating behavior, the very next thing to do is look for their narcissism; ITS THERE.

Who feels ok to cheat?

Someone without empathy.

If the cheating person did have empathy they’d be able to feel how their partner would feel, and thus make choices that are respectful of those feelings and avoiding having their partner feel them.

Someone who feels entitled to cheat.

If the cheating person didn’t think they were deserving of cheating, they’d be more bound to their loyalty to a person they’ve committed themselves to.

Someone who can’t be loyal to anyone but themselves.

Pure and simple, they’re SELFISH. The person that is more loyal to themselves than to their partner, isn’t a good partner at all.

We can’t be with our loved ones 24/7 just so they remember that we exist; that we have a relationship agreement not to date others. We shouldn’t HAVE TO.

Loyalty leads a person to be responsible for their commitment to us and to modify their behaviors, based on that commitment even when we’re not around.

Someone who has no boundaries.

A person with no boundaries, doesn’t tell people or temptation “NO!”. They soak up all they can get to feel good RIGHT NOW, regardless of who they hurt in the process.

They do not assert the boundaries that say, “Im off the market. Im taken. Im in a loving relationship that deserves my respect.”

Its a willy nilly, supply driven, addictive playground of limitlessness. Kids would eat candy for breakfast if we let them.
Narcissists are no different. They see something that looks good and they eat it.

Think again, when you see someone who CHEATS on their significant other. Ask yourself if it POSSIBLY doesn’t go a little deeper than this or possibly ALOT DEEPER.

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Posted on February 3, 2014, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. How do I start ?

    My God this has been a long Journey for me but I’m glad its finally over ! Ive known her since I was 12 but lost contact with her and met her at the age of 30, I feel in love with her and the sex was wonderful. We did so many things together but there were so many red flags I didnt trust her . She blamed me for the lack of trust I believed her, so after the honeymoon she turnned cold no sex then no contact . Crazy how can a women that says she loves you and allways did remove herself and disaper ? I would from time to time send her a how are you email or a birthday wish no responds ! After 17 Years of trying to get her back in my life she openned up . We finally started talking again and for the last year we’ve been very close texting every minute of the day the relationship grew we had sex it was all perfect untill the end of the honeymoon phase! then no sex . I started to notice a pattern she would argue over stupid things and never be wrong about it never appolgized for anything . Allways going out to bars after work saying she had to meet a client ! I even thought heck she might be an escort ! LOL I even asked her that , My heart was broken once again ! I thought for many years it was me I’m at fault . Then I did some research and found information on female narcissist OMG she fit the bill to the T. Thats when it all came together for me everything I was reading online was her. Thats explains why her relationships dont last thats why she looks so hot thats why there are so many mirrors in her home and so many pictures of herself ! I suffered for so long thinking about her beliving she was the love of mylife ! I know now that she wasnt at all ! Shes a selfish Narc my troubles are over and I can finally move on to find a women that will love me with no conditions ! I wish all to keep clear of the NPD’s that you meet they will destroy your heart and not even look down to see that your dead !

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  2. VERY MUCH LIKE MINE EXCEPT I AM,AND HAVE BEEN GRIEVING 4 WEEKS NOW…SHE HAS ALL THE CLASSIC SIGNS,AND KNOWS THAT I KNOW SOMETHING HAS BEEN UP FOR AWHILE,AFTER I WAS ON SSI,I GUESS SHE THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER TRY AND BETTER MYSELF,BUT MY PLAN IS WRITTEN,SCHOOL,NEW CAREER…I DO AND HAVE SEEN ENOUGH TO BELIEVE SHE IS AND HAS BEEN CHEATING…..BLAMES ME FOR EVERYTHING,LIES,SELFISH….AND NOW IS PREMODONNA,ARROGANT AT HER VISIT A FEW DAYS AGO TO GET HER MAIL,SHE PICKED A FIGHT WHEN SHE WAS DOWNING ME,I SAID OK I EXCEPT THAT NOW LETS TALK ABOUT YOU/HER,THATS WHEN SHE JUMPED UP L EFT SAYING THIS IS NEVER GONNA WORK AND GOODBYE,BUT HER STUFF IS STILL HERE….YOU’RE POST IS ANOTHER ENLIGHTENING TO ME…IF YOU WANT TO CHAT PLEASE DO….I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO,DONT FEEL LIKE GOING OUT BECAUSE AM AFRAID I WILL BE APPROUCHED,AND I AM VERY VULNERABLE RIGHT NOW,BUT MY HEART SAYS NO!!! WHY????? I ASK…

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  3. My ex was even worse. She actually convinces herself that her behavior is legitimate by proclaiming herself as polyamorous. But how interesting that she decided to turn monogamous when she was with me. Then when we broke up, the next I heard from her through e-mail when we tried to be friends was that she was writing a book on polyamory.

    That’s when I cut ties with her. It was difficult, but to even be friends with someone that deluded is not worth it. There’s no substance to it at all.

    She was extremely selfish but my oh my did she sugar coat her narcissism SO well. She was the most sweetest person you could meet. She hooked me in very well. I’m amazed by how she does it. A great actress. A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

    I miss her a lot but when I think back to that kind of thing then I feel relieved. It’s going to take still a while to get through how much I miss her. It’s been almost 3 months. I’ve learnt a lot. I’m still a bit stunned by her behavior. But, oh well. Lessons learnt.

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  4. Excellent article, spot on! One of the most common narcissistic traits in the non-clinical narcissist population…

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