Narcissistic Relationships – Don’t Waste Your Time
Healthy relationships LEAVE YOU with something – some kind of good memories that in the end, you’re thankful for having experienced, even if it didn’t turn out to be a permanent relationship.
Looking back on the narcissistic relationship ONLY elicits regret over wasted time, wasted feelings, wasted moments we can never recapture. (sans, having our children)
Memories are fraught with the abuse. How tormenting it was. How difficult, exhausting, blaming and shaming the narcissist was. The many times we had to deal with the narcissists emotional problems, drama, void empathy, and neglect.
Coming into the after shock of realizing it was all a huge manipulation by a predator with a chronic pattern of sucking people dry, does not sit well with us, when we’re assessing our damage.
We think, WHAT WAS THIS FOR? All that emotion, energy, sacrifice, all the giving we did, has to be mourned because it was never shared reciprocally.
The grief associated with this costly and unnecessary loss, is HUGE. We have nothing to replace it with, except our regrets.
Posted on January 29, 2014, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.
After Narcissistic Abuse 
That is unbelievably well said – exactly how it is
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No one gets it, i have tried to explain it to people but its impossible you have to live it to get it,i am also sick of hearing oh i always thought he was a great guy, i was even told it must be me because he has a new woman who he loves but he could not love you,i could have laughed he doesn’t love her or anyone she is just there to make him look normal, but if you start saying that you come across as the jealous ex ,she will find out in time that he is a liar drama maker crazy maker,deceitful, porn addict,has rages,is never there for you puts every thing in front of you, is a workaholic
,By the way i was always getting told he,s a great worker you should be happy,he is a great worker because he gets time away from the house to get up to all his sly tricks behind my back, she like me will find out through time that he cannot be trusted for 5 minutes,i gave chance after chance to this man he went to anger management,physiologists, addiction council ling . only because i made him, nothing worked, after 34 years of repeated bad behavior it finally clicked with me that he would never change and him going to all these things was only stringing me along to keep me there, never again i am a different person now i could see right through him now took me long enough lol but once i realized people like this existed i read all about it, i have grown as a person a hard and long lesson for me, and a waste of time
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I’m glad for you as well. Perhaps now you will be free to find what you truly deserve in a relationship and have learned how very worthy you are to be loved in a reciprocal way without constant mental abuse and emotional cruelty. Be happy!
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The Tibetans have a relevant saying: “Throwing uncooked rice against a wall, nothing sticks.” with one of these people you’re just throwing your uncooked rice against a wall, a total waste. Or another one they have, “You must have a hook and the other person must have a ring.” without the hook or the ring it won’t work. You have the hook but the narcissist doesn’t have a ring and never will. get them out of your life and move on. (easier said that done, isn’t it? ha-ha). (try like hell to keep your sense of humor, it’s the great softener).
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Most people really don’t get this (I’ve been told “at least you have some good memories” and “at least you had some good times”. The only “good” memories are of the idolization, but once you’ve been discarded you realize that even that was completely fake. In fact, that’s the worst part of it, knowing you were manipulated from the beginning, that the person you loved never was capable of loving you. I got nothing good out of a 20 year marriage; I have zero good memories from it. I’m just glad it’s over and that he finally discarded me before I managed to drink myself to death.
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