What It’s Like to Be Narcissistic

NarcissusCropped2Imagine a game of Golf or other sport and having the best day of your career. You feel great, but the mental wall between confidence and fear is thin as tissue paper. Everything is riding on the next shot, and then the one after that. For narcissists the game encompasses their whole world, and it is NEVER over.

Imagine the pressure should the only meaningful goal in your life be proving that you are something more than human. A narcissist’s greatest fear is of being ordinary and thus, ignored. They are incapable of being connected to anything or anyone larger than themselves, because in their world, THERE IS NOTHING LARGER.

Beyond their frenetic attempts to prove the improvable lies only a dark, unexplored void. You might be tempted to think of them as tragic figures if they weren’t so dangerous and thoroughly obnoxious.

On one hand, narcissists may be extremely intelligent or have some great talent – but on the other, is the nastiest, most inconsiderate creature on earth. You’d think that for such smart people they’d recognize the importance of considering other people – but that will NEVER happen. It’s lost on a narcissist.

From a distance, narcissists are looked upon as an admirable talent. They entertain us, we vote for them, we watch their shows on the big screen. Yet up close, these are the most vicious, hated types known to man. So even with their talents, they end up causing far more damage to others than their talents will ever compensate. Narcissists use people openly without thought or apology. Firm in the belief that they are better and more deserving than others, their sense of entitlement is the same that fueled judgment and arrogance that drove Hitler to carry out his objectionable actions.

We resent narcissists. We deplore the way they ignore our needs and refuse to accept responsibility and be accountable for the many ways they harmed us. At the same time, we respond to their immature, childish neediness and feel compelled to help and mother them.

Narcissists break the Golden Rule over and over again, without so much as a thought or drop of remorse. Does this make them evil or just oblivious? Your answer will reveal how much damage they’ve done to YOU.

The easiest way we let narcissists drain us of our very life force is to take their lack of love, consideration & empathy, PERSONALLY.



To a narcissist, other people are either prospective prey or invisible. There’s no in-between. They’re incapable of seeing fellow human beings as having wants, needs, and desires of their own. Needless to say, this lack of empathy is the source of untold amounts of pain and torment to the people who love them. One of the scariest parts of the narcissist’s modus operandi is their ability to FEIGN EMPATHY when they want something. They are the biggest and best flatterers on the planet. They give away ego massages even as they are draining people DRY.



Posted on October 13, 2013, in Narcissism. Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. Support groups around, I’m in!


  2. Dorothy (Doro) Reeves

    Sally, your experience with “The Blame Game” sounds so, SO familiar. Congratulations for escaping what could have been a long, drawn-out ordeal! – Doro


  3. Another trait of narcissists is “The Blame Game”. When anything is perceived to go wrong, it is some else’s fault. Never, ever do they do something to cause a problem. They expect their minds to be read and their least desire is attended to or it’s wrong. I finally figured out only witches could do this and gave the broom back to his mother. I didn’t know how to ride it very well. What a weight that was off of me!


  4. Fellow Survivor: You speak feelings straight from my heart except I’m a woman who endured the same. What is most heartbreaking is the harm done to the children. I hate the word hate but it describes the most intense of our feelings of which God put those feelings in us to speak to about our experiences, our abusers.I hate the fact that I have spent the past nearly 10 years after he walked out again, feeling ashamed and guilty for not being able to forgive what this monster did to me, to our family. How do you pick up the pieces, forget more than half of your life of devotion to someone so cruel and heartless. Yes, how do you forgive someone who has not repented but rather continues to carry on with his evil campaign. I’m in the stages of moving far away from him, even my children and a community who would rather sleep with the devil, go to church on Sunday and support the blatant wrongs he has committed which are clearly outlined as such in the Holy Bible. Perhaps then the healing can begin as I somehow find a new life. I’m hardest on myself because as one said to me once, “you chose’em didn’t you, you get what you deserve.”


  5. Is there any way I subscribe to your blog? I couldn’t find a place to add my email.


  6. My ex-boyfriend dumped me 9 months ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him.I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me.I was so confuse and don’t know what to do,so I reach to the internet and i meet Dr Azima and i explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 3 days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness.I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that,we are about to get married.once again thank you Azima spell.you are truly talented and gifted Email:ablelovespell@gmail.com


  7. Reblogged this on Tattoomommie's Cyber World and commented:
    If you’re still learning about NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) this is a great place to start. This is what I’m dealing with times 2 on a daily basis. I left my abusive sham of a marriage to shield my children from the abuse. Sadly now they are forced to spend more time then they’ve ever had to with him. Paying our next court date at the end of November, rules in the best interest of our children. Praying the judge will at the very least consider the documentation I have compiled over this past year and a half. What started out as me believing that a father of three should bear some financial responsibility for the three children he helped create has only allowed him to bear no responsibility but rather use them as pawns. I wish I never filed, it wasn’t until then did this sudden interest in custody begin. If I had it to do over again…


  8. Fellow Survivor

    Could not have said it better. Oh by the way, do you know my ex wife and her dad? You seem to be talking about them in this post?

    I am/was the perfect prey. empathetic, kind, generous, and extremely forgiving. Until I could no longer deliver the goods. (Trips gagets etc.There is a recession going on you know.

    Anyway, we all know what its like to be waiting for a real apology, right. You know, the one that never comes, in my case for 20 years.

    I finally held my ground. I would not have sex with her until she admitted she assaulted me, told me it was wrong, and promised it would never happen again. Well, as you all know, that never happened. She would send me texts or emails saying how much she missed the old me that loved her so much or how terribly lonely she was. I would respond back “Why?” Why are you lonely? Why is the old me that loved you so much not forthcoming? And the answer is, wait for it, “Because you treat me like sh-t and will never say you are sorry or even acknowledge that what you did or said was wrong, that’s why”

    So, I am in stage acceptance. I hate her. I hate what she has done to me. I hate how she has harmed our children. I hate the lies, I hate how she was never there for me when I needed her, I just overall hate the the mess. I hate how I was ALWAYS there for her, I hate the way I busted my butt to make her happy to no avail. I hate all the wasted years on someone who just doesn’t deserve it. AND SHE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS MESS. I don’t give a rats ass about how horrible her childhood was, she had a loving husband that adored and treasured her. Now she has a boyfriend or friends, oh, who knows.

    I am now in the escaping from the emotional trauma stage. I am trying to break free and hopefully I will do so soon.


  9. Couldn’t agree more! The narcissit I know thinks (and others who don’t know him may too) he has tallent but in the end that is flawed too.


  10. I feel horrendously used and abused. Every ounce.of my being has been crushed


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