About ANA

ANA was developed out of sheer desperation of the human spirit clinging to it’s last bit of hope.

Lost and confused after ending a 3 year relationship that at one point had felt like the greatest “love” of my life, I struggled to find answers and put a finger on just WHAT IT WAS that had gone so terribly wrong.

So desperate was my need for answers, I sat on my therapists couch, tears streaming down my face, begging him to tell me, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEE?”

His answer surprised me; and forever changed the way I view this world.

“You were in a domestically violent relationship.”

“WHAT?????”  I asked in utter shock. “But he didn’t “hit” me?”

He answered with, “Not with his fists.  You are dealing with a narcissist. You have just ended an abusive relationship with a NARCISSIST.”

My mind whirled  – when I heard my therapist name what it was – I began to be flooded with many examples from the narcissist’s behavior that fit what the therapist was telling me.

Lack of empathy? Check!
Guilt tripping?  Check!
Passive aggressive? Check!
Controlling. Wouldnt ‘allow’ me to have feelings or express them? Check!
Loved by everyone on the outside – but HATED by those who know the real them? Check!

For the first time in 3+ years….I finally felt that IT WASNT ME,  like the narcissist had blamed me for over & over.  It explained why I’d never been able to do anything right to ‘earn’  his “love”.

From that day on, I promised God that if he brought me through the darkness, that I would pay forward the knowledge of everything I learned through my lesson, about the narcissist, their red flags, their abuse, my upbringing with a narcissistic parent, my own vulnerabilities and how to never allow myself to be exploited again by another narcissistic individual; be it a boss, boyfriend, family member or friend.

My philosophy is very simple: KNOWLEDGE IS POWER  – I am making available all the knowledge I’ve gained as a result of this experience with a narcissistic abuser in an effort to help empower you and let you know  that you are not alone in your suffering.

There truly is Light, Life, Love & Laughter after narcissistic abuse, It is my hope for you, that you truly come to know this for yourself.

xo,

ANA

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  1. You are so awesome. I am eternally grateful for people like you. Coming out of a narcissistic relationship is worse than being an alcoholic or drug addict cause I had a drinking problem and i’ve been in AA but what I thought was the worst thing in the world (my drinking problem) PALED in comparison to being with a narcissist. They can take a whole life out in a short period of time. It’s just terror, heartbreak, shock and confusion all the time. And the heartbreak is the scariest part. Thank you for helping us all out of the dark clingy grips of the narc! Cause boy they are powerful!

  2. I have nominated your blog with the Shauny Award For Blogging Excellence! Thank you so much for all that you do to help others rise beyond abuse!

  3. I’ve been studying and reading for 5+ years now on this subject as I am in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic man. Five years ago I could not find much on this topic. However now I am finding more and more helpful information for which I am extremely grateful. I too want to share what I have learned in an effort to curtail the next person from wasting numerous years in “hell” thinking it’s their fault and not realizing exactly what a narcissist is capable of. Perhaps, since I have not found the strength to end my situation once and for all, I am not qualified to advise others as of yet. Even so, I wanted you to know how happy I am not only to see that others have gone thru this and survived but that people such as yourself take the time to create websites and write all of this great information and sincere advice for those of us who are still struggling. You have my deepest appreciation.

  4. Simply put: thank you!

  5. Thank you so much, your facebook page helped me to make sense of a 10 year marriage to a narcissist. I am now finally divorced, with a loving kind partner, and we have a new baby. I have started a blog myself, as a form of self therapy! I honestly can’t thank you enough.

  6. At last I have the information I have needed all along and I realise what my ex partner is…I am in the process of building a case to stop him having anything to do with our daughter. He is possibly one of the most dangerous, scary people I have ever met and until recently I believed all he had said and that it was me, I felt like I wasn’t even alive any more. Thank God for you and your articles, help and support, I am without a doubt extremely thankful for it all – Knowledge is indeed power xxx bless you xxx

  7. Is that you at the kahului airport?

  8. Awesome! I live on Maui, I thought it looked familiar. Next time you visit come visit me at the Ritz for some yoga or massage. Love your work.

  9. Yes! It would deb amazing to meet you, and I would be happy to set you up with a day pass to use our spa facilities at the Ritz. Email me if you have time while you are on Maui xo

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